Episode Details

On Today’s Episode:

• ✝️ The cult behind The Family International releases a wholesome children's puppet show featuring:

  • A robot with real human-like breasts

  • Children licking bloody wounds

  • Puppet grandpas who enjoy "gifts" in the form of long mouth kisses

  • Casual child fireplay and open invitations to spankings

  • And yes… a sexbot serenade

• 🐭 Chuck E. Cheese commits wire fraud while still wearing the mouse head

• 🐊 A man goes full John Wick on an alligator who dared steal his fishing lure

• 🧠 The IQs drop to single digits as The Fresh and Fit podcast hosts try to Holocaust-splain

• 🚨 Police bodycam captures the arrest of a twitching meth mess who insists the cops "don’t have permission" to arrest her

Distorted News Highlights:

• Florida Man strikes again—twice! First as Chuck E. Cheese, then with a vengeance-fueled golf club gator beatdown

• Teddy Roosevelt had a judo roommate? We look back on the original Florida Man in the White House

🎤 Listener Voicemails:

• The cult nostalgia train continues thanks to Haley’s Comet

• How many symbols can we cram on one pride flag?

• Should Tim legally change his name to Timmy Boo? Spoiler: it’s financially negotiable

• One freak calls out the podcast industry’s Nazi grift economy

🎶 Musical Finale:
As a special treat for today’s show sponsor Double D, we present Cortado del Trenta’s full-length cover of Sherebra Venti’s banger "Out Now" – a beautiful ballad of milky seed, roast beef sleeves, and pussy overheating like a '93 Corolla in August.

Sponsor Shout-Out:
A huge thanks to Double D for 17 years of DV loyalty! Sponsored segments and titty talk by listener request. Want your name (or an alias) featured on a future episode? PayPal Tim at show@distortedview.com or paypal.me/distortedview.

💥 Join the Sideshow!
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• 2 full-length Sideshow episodes each week

• 2 bonus segments

• Listener voicemails played FIRST
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Closing Thoughts:
If you’re not popping dogs in the ass, are you even a cop?