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Ep 107 Big Book Thumper Leaves AA After 32 Years — Carrie's Story
Episode 107
After 32 years in Alcoholics Anonymous, Carrie walked away from the program she once lived and breathed. A retired VA nurse, dynamic speaker, and hardcore Big Book Thumper, Carrie sponsored thousands and climbed the service ladder—until she started asking herself the one question AA fears most: Do I actually believe this?
This powerful conversation dives into indoctrination, service burnout, identity loss, spiritual manipulation, predatory behavior in meetings, and the courage it takes to walk away. If you’re questioning AA, feeling trapped, or just want to hear a brutally honest story of breaking free—this one’s for you.
Carrie's substack: https://carrieengland.substack.com/
👇 Timestamps
00:00 Intro
04:02 Indoctrinated into hardcore AA
07:38 Core issues under drinking
09:20 Drunk on AA Kool-Aid
12:20 Cracks in AA brainwashing
17:01 Retired VA registered nurse for substance abuse
18:28 Elite AA & Getting Fired by a Sponsor
22:27 "I feel scammed"
26:38 Questioning AA + Sponsor Burnout
31:40 Her Big Regret from AA
36:40 AA is a Religious Cult
37:48 Leaving AA Feels Scary
40:41 Predators in AA
45:12 The First Days After Leaving
50:20 Coming Out Online About Leaving AA
53:41 AA Myths She No Longer Believes
58:34 What Surprised Her About Leaving
1:04:03 Cults Within the Cult
1:14:00 Alternatives to AA
1:15:10 Is She Still “in Recovery”?
1:18:30 Ego, Self-Esteem & Service
1:24:25 AA as Self-Medication
1:28:06 Learning to Trust Herself Again
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Published on 5 months ago