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On Eid al-Adha, the Feast of the Sacrifice—the Muslim world’s biggest holiday, with more than 1.5 million pilgrims congregating in Mecca—the Saudi authorities decided to make it an even bigger holiday…and sacrificed the petrodollar. Worldwide feasting and celebration erupted. Ding-dong, the witch is dead! The US empire is no more! Uncle Schlemiel has finally bit the dust!

The implosion of Israel’s American sponsor ended the genocide in Occupied Palestine. Eid al-Adha, which commemorates the end of human sacrifice in general and the ritual slaughter of children in particular, was an auspicious moment to terminate the Zionists’ sacrifice of 15,000+ children in Gaza. Saudi leader Mohammed Bin Salman, previously best known for carving up political enemies with bone saws, has rehabilitated his image and will henceforth be remembered alongside Salahuddin Ayyubi as a liberator, not a tyrant.

The Saudis’ sacrifice of the petrodollar also ended the war in Ukraine. The collapsing dollar, no longer supported by oil, lost its power to pay for US occupation of Europe and the empire’s war on Russia. Putin’s peace agreement, freezing the conflict at its current boundaries, was quickly implemented. US plans to turn Taiwan into Ukraine 2.0, leading to World War III against China, were abruptly cancelled.

It’s a nice story. Billions wish it were true. But initial reports of the petrodollar’s demise, like those of Mark Twain’s in 1897, appear to have been greatly exaggerated.

I got the (fake) news from Australian conspiracy researcher Peter Myers, who forwarded several stories including “Saudi Arabia has dumped the PetroDollar; the deal expired on June 9, 2024.” The claim seems to have originated in India Today, the most widely circulated magazine in India, and the Deccan Herald, another venerable Indian publication.

When two of the biggest publications in the world’s most populous nation report that a historic event has occurred, we might be excused for taking them seriously. But the Indian reports of the alleged expiration of the US-Saudi petrodollar agreement raised more questions than answers.

The Deccan Herald reported the expiration of an alleged 50-year-old agreement:

The US-Saudi Petrodollar deal established on June 8, 1974 was an agreement through which Saudi Arabia agreed to trade crude oil in US dollars in exchange for military equipment and assistance from the US.

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