Episode Details

Send us Fan Mail

Affairs are deeply painful—and deeply complex. In today’s episode, we’re opening up a much-needed conversation about infidelity in long-term relationships. Whether you're the one who’s been hurt, the one who strayed, or someone carrying childhood wounds from a parent’s affair, this episode is for you.

Katie shares her personal experience as the child impacted by infidelity, as well as insights from her work with couples navigating the aftermath of betrayal. You'll learn the different types of affairs (yes, there's more than one), why they actually happen (hint: it’s not always about dissatisfaction), and the emotional ripple effects that touch far more than just the couple involved.

This is not a tabloid takedown or a hot take on celebrity gossip surrounding the couple at the Coldplay concert. It’s a real, honest, and hopeful conversation about what it means to be human, to hurt, and to heal.

In This Episode, You’ll Learn:

• The Gottman Institute’s definition of an affair—and why it’s about more than sex
• The 6 types of affairs and how to recognize them
• What Esther Perel teaches about desire, aliveness, and disconnection
• Why even “happy” relationships aren’t immune to infidelity
• The generational impact of affairs, especially on children and teens
• How to begin the healing process, whether you stay together or not
• Reflective questions to explore your own boundaries and reconnection needs

🔗 Resources & Mentions:

• Episode: Anxious vs. Avoidant Attachment
• Esther Perel’s book The State of Affairs
• The Gottman Institute – www.gottman.com
• Terry Real – www.terryreal.com

💭 Journal Prompts from This Episode:

• Where do I feel disconnected—from myself or my partner?
• What boundaries have I started to let slide?
• What do I need to feel safe, seen, and secure in my relationship?

Relationship Game Plan Call

Free Conversation Starter Cards for Couples

Couples Goal Setting Workbook

Submit a Dear Katie episode question

Follow Katie Rössler on Instagram