Episode Details
Back to Episodes
Angry teenagers: Parenting teens and tweens through their anger - Vintage.
Description
We all loose our cool sometimes. but teenagers can find it particularly challenging to stay calm or calm down when enraged. It takes self-awareness and skill, and a level of brain development that just isn't there for some of them.
One listener contacted us for help with her son who is being goaded by friends at school and getting into trouble for losing his temper. We talk about the brain development stage that makes this so prevalent in teens, and discuss top tips for how she can support him in managing his emotions.
Rachel's checklist from the episode
EXCELLENT WORKSHEET:
https://www.therapistaid.com/worksheets/coping-skills-anger
Here are five key tips for handling a teenager with explosive anger:
- Normalize the emotion: Help your teen understand that anger is a natural signal, not a problem. Explain the brain changes happening during adolescence that can make emotions intense.
- Create a safe space: Provide a designated area where they can express anger without judgment. This could be a room, a punching bag, or a place to play loud music and release emotions.
- Develop a trigger awareness strategy: Work together to identify anger triggers. Create a log to track what situations, comments, or environments set off their anger, and develop coping mechanisms.
- Practice emotional regulation tools: Teach breathing techniques, use a code word (like "Flint") to signal when they're becoming overwhelmed, and help them recognize physical signs of anger building up.
- Maintain a supportive relationship: Focus on positive reinforcement, listen without trying to immediately fix the problem, and consistently show love and understanding. Avoid punishment during angry outbursts and discuss strategies calmly when they're calm.
RESOURCES USED:
- Yale Medicine. (n.d.). Anger, Irritability and Aggression in Kids. [online] Available at: https://www.yalemedicine.org/conditions/anger-issues-in-children-and-teens#:~:text=For%20children%2C%20anger%20issues%20often.
- Myler, C. (2020). Understanding teen boys’ anger. [online] Maggie Dent. Available at: https://www.maggiedent.com/blog/understanding-teen-boys-anger/.
- Russell, D.L. (2023). Anger Management Techniques for Teenagers: A Parent Guide. [online] They Are The Future. Available at: https://www.theyarethefuture.co.uk/anger-management-techniques-for-teenagers/ [Accessed 12 Jun. 2023]
Please hit the follow button if you like the podcast, and share it with anyone who might benefit.
You can review us on Apple podcasts by going to the show page, scrolling down to the bottom where you can click on a star then you can leave your message.
Please don't hesitate to seek the advice of a specialist if you're not coping. There's no shame in reaching out for support. When you look after yourself your entire family benefits.
Find all the tips from the episode on Substack:
My email teenagersuntangled@gmail.com
My website has a blog, searchable episodes, and ways to contact me