Episode Details

How do you forgive somebody who cheated on you? Not by understanding it. Something stopped me asking the questions, and that turned out to be the whole gift.

I wanted to know how, and who with, and how long for. I did not ask. It took me a long time to work out that I was not grieving her. I was grieving the life, the freedom, the joys. Name what they did silently, as an object, and do not go down the story with it. Let the pain be there if it comes. Then it has nothing to do with them any more.

One thing to try: Name the thing that happened in three words. No story attached. Just the object.

In this episode

• (0:06) A few emails, and what they were asking about
• (3:00) They are the same thing, and where we need to get to
• (4:50) It is never as simple as we were happy and then this
• (7:33) All the questions I had, and the wisdom not to ask them
• (9:57) It was not her I grieved. It was the life
• (12:33) How do you forgive somebody who left, or cheated?
• (14:57) Name it as an object, and do not go down the story
• (17:29) Then you have real freedom, and it is nothing to do with them

With gratitude to

Mark, Annie, Will, Linda in Australia, and Judy Simpson.

The companion meditation: The Freedom of Forgiveness: Letting Go For Yourself

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Thank you for listening.

Steven

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