Episode Details

Cathy and Todd talk with Jennifer Wallace about her New York Times Bestseller Never Enough: When Achievement Culture Becomes Toxic – and What We Can Do About It. They discuss the definition of happiness and why parents feel so pressured to help their kids “succeed”. They also process the difference between extrinsic and intrinsic motivators, why interdependence changes our perspective, and why “mattering” is the key to family wellbeing. For the full show notes, visit zenpopparenting.com.

Timestamps

(00:00:00) Introduction
(00:06:45) Parental pressure and the definition of success
(00:10:45) The pressure parents feel to secure their children’s economic futures
(00:12:30) Parenting and education in a rapidly changing world
(00:15:13) Raising sons and promoting interdependence
(00:19:35) Community building and gratitude
(00:25:08) Maternal warmth and a strong work ethic can contribute to raising happy and successful children
(00:26:07) The impact of values on well-being, including the difference between materialistic values and intrinsic values
(00:28:33) The importance of open and explicit conversations about values and the need to understand how children perceive our communication
(00:36:13) Parental love and valuing children’s efforts regardless of success
(00:41:17) Jennifer discussed how kids talked about the struggles of their parents regulating their own emotions
(00:43:00) Parenting and self-awareness
(00:48:00) Emphasizing the importance of maintaining the mental health and resilience of primary caregivers when a child is in distress
(00:50:40) The Importance of Deliberate Time and Vulnerability
(00:51:15) Prioritizing Sleep and Balanced Living
(00:53:11) The Pressure of Achieving in Academics
(00:56:35) Achievement Creep and Its Effects
(01:00:00) The Role of Mattering in Success
(01:02:17) Closing Thoughts and Book Recommendation

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