Season 1 Episode 451
Are you truly being curious—or just trying to win the argument? Tony explores the difference between genuine curiosity and performative questions, sharing real-life examples and tools to help you respond with emotional maturity, not reactivity. Learn how curiosity can transform your relationships.
00:00 Introduction and Host Background
01:42 Understanding Performative vs. Genuine Curiosity
02:04 A Personal Story About Curiosity
08:50 The Importance of Genuine Curiosity in Relationships
19:10 Self-Regulation and Emotional Maturity
24:18 Promoting Genuine Curiosity in Parenting
26:17 The Role of Humility in Curiosity
29:41 Healthy Ego vs. Defensive Narcissism
35:03 The Neuroscience of Decision Making and Emotions
37:06 The Power of Slowing Down
37:36 Understanding Emotions: Primary, Secondary, and Instrumental
41:02 Exploring Anger in Relationships
42:48 Trusting Your Gut and Emotional Reasoning
45:41 Addressing Men's Emotional Immaturity
48:55 Real-Life Examples of Genuine Curiosity
53:42 Parenting with Curiosity
55:09 Curiosity in Marriage and Workplace
59:47 Acceptance and Commitment Therapy Tools
01:02:15 Four Pillars of a Connected Conversation
01:05:20 Final Thoughts and Takeaways
Contact Tony at contact@tonyoverbay.com to learn more about his Emotional Architects men's group.
And visit https://julie-dejesus.com/cruise to learn more about Tony and his friend Julie De Jesus's "I See You Living" cruise, a 5-night Western Caribbean Cruise from January 24-29, 2026 aboard the Royal Caribbean Cruise Line.
Published on 2 months, 2 weeks ago
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