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One Prostitute's Battle With Under-Stomach Swamp Rot
Description
🦠 On Today’s Show:
🧼 Our favorite prostitute returns with tales of Middle Eastern dick, armpit funk, and under-stomach swamp rot
🍞 A woman makes a peanut butter & jelly sandwich during her virtual court appearance—the judge is not amused
📘 Tim receives an AI-generated novel featuring himself, mystical horses, and cum fart strategy meetings at Red Lobster
🐍 A Florida man gets bitten by a rattlesnake and records it all in hopes of viral fame—leg nearly rots off, but worth it for the views
🦝 Kentucky man uses a raccoon as a weapon of retail disruption—follows up a previous crime spree on a mule
🧑⚖️ Predator catchers make a fat pedo do jumping jacks while begging for mercy—his main concern? Broken headphones
🗣️ Listener voicemails on masturbation technique, paper towels vs. fleshlights, and an impassioned defense of technical ephebophilia
📦 Featured Image Today:
The cover of The Horse Whisper Chronicles: The Tales of Timothy Bethesda Henson — AI-generated masterpiece starring Tim, Unicorn Hamster, Tone-Deaf Sean, and the villainous Squirtteenth Birthday
🧠 Programming Notes:
📼 Friday = Best-Of Episode
🏇 Full audiobook readings of Horse Whisper Chronicles may be coming to the Sideshow soon
🐴 Learn how to publish your own dumb AI-generated novel at bookbyanyone.com
🎙️ Support the Show:
🤡 Become a true freak and gain access to exclusive shows: DistortedView.com
🎧 Listen via Spotify or Apple with exclusive episode feeds
💵 Or join the sideshow via Patreon.com/DistortedView — just $5/month gets you a direct cum-funnel to Tim’s voicemail inbox