Episode Details

Michele Locke became a judge at thirty-one and spent years presiding over a domestic violence court, handling roughly nine out of ten of her county's protective orders along with the custody and family cases that came out of them. She has since returned to private practice, and she talks about family court as a second battlefield, one that can retraumatize the very people it is supposed to protect.

Michele Locke is a Texas family law attorney and a former associate family court judge. Her jurisdiction and its rules are Texas specific, and she says so throughout, but the instincts she describes travel: this is a conversation about how a parent should carry themselves so the person on the bench can actually help them.

In this episode, Locke and Lisa start with the corrupt-judge fear and the real path if you believe it, which runs through the state judicial commission rather than through despair. She explains why court time is brutally short, so you condense your case and lead with what you want and why, and why you will not get the pound of flesh or the closure you feel owed. She lays out written-communication discipline, from treating every message as a future exhibit to never hitting send while you are angry, and the way a grey-rock approach can be recast as alienation if you go silent on things that matter to the kids.

She closes on protecting yourself: that seeking therapy or taking anti-anxiety or anti-depressant medication during a divorce will not cost you your children, and a small habit of labeling your private journals for your attorney so they may fall under privilege rather than open discovery. She hedges that last point herself, and so do we: confirm it with your own lawyer in your own state.

As always, this is strategic education, not legal or mental-health advice for your specific situation.

🎓 What you'll learn

• The corrupt-judge fear, and the real remedy: a complaint to the state judicial commission
• Why court time is short, so you front-load what you want and why you're entitled to it
• Why the system won't give you closure, an apology, or the pound of flesh you feel owed
• Everything you put in writing can become exhibit A, so write for the judge who'll read it
• Don't ask "why" and don't engage every point: high-conflict personalities want the engagement
• Why a grey-rock approach can be spun as alienation if you go silent on the kids' needs
• Why therapy or medication during a divorce won't cost you your children
• Labeling private journals for your attorney so they may fall under privilege, not discovery

⏱️ Chapters
0:00 Intro
1:00 "What if my judge is corrupt?"
3:00 From attorney to judge at thirty-one, and back again
5:00 Court as a second battlefield
7:00 Short court time, and front-loading your case
9:00 No pot of gold, no closure, no apology
15:00 Things said in court you can't take back
17:00 Everything in writing is exhibit A
21:00 Grey rock vs. an alienation claim
25:00 Protecting your mental health, medication, and journaling
27:00 The "Dear attorney" privilege habit

Keep going 💜
Book a free 30-minute discovery call and we'll help you map your next steps: https://beentheregotout.com/call
📘 Been There Got Out: Toxic Relationships, High-Conflict Divorce, and How to Stay Sane Under Insane Circumstances — https://www.amazon.com/dp/194627495X
📘 Been There Got Out: When Your Ex Turns the Kids Against You (our parental-alienation book) — https://www.amazon.com/dp/1967674183
🔗 Michele Locke: https://www.michelelocke.com/

🎧 More with Michele Locke on this podcast
Ep 295: What Celebrity Custody Cases Teach Us About Alienation

About Been There Got Out
Chris Barry and Lisa Johnson are high-conflict divorce, custody, and co-parenting strategists, and the fo