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82 The Many Faces of Grief Inside Us

Episode 82 Published 4 years, 7 months ago
Description
  1. Through a dramatic representation, quotes, and examples, I walk you through how six dimensions of what it means for you to love yourself and others.  By bringing in the pioneering work of IFS therapist Derek Scott, we will explore how different parts within you respond to grief and loss in so many different ways.  
  2. Lead in:
     
    1. Lead-in Intro
  3.  
    1. Letter
  4.  
    1. Ron's reactions
  5.  
  6. Intro
     
    1. We are together in this great adventure, this podcast, Interior Integration for Catholics, we are journeying together, and I am honored to be able to spend this time with you.  

    1. I am Dr. Peter Malinoski, clinical psychologist and passionate Catholic and together, we are taking on the tough topics that matter to you.  

    1. We bring the best of psychology and human formation and harmonize it with the perennial truths of the Catholic Faith.   

    1. Interior Integration for Catholics is part of our broader outreach, Souls and Hearts bringing the best of psychology grounded in a Catholic worldview to you and the rest of the world through our website soulsandhearts.com
  10.  
    1. Today's episode, number 82 is entitled "The Many Faces of Grief Inside Us  and it's released on August 23, 2021
  11.  
    1. Heard a reenacted story about Ronald and Vivian Meerkamp, and I’ll be using that clip throughout todays episode to add depth and examples to the concepts 

    1. In the last episode, Episode 81, we broached There is so much misinformation out there about grief.  So many myths, so many misconceptions to clear up.  Why is that?  We're going to answer that question with the professional research, the best of psychological theory, with Scripture, with poetry, with examples and with quotes to help you understand the experience of grief -- your grief and the grief of others.  

    1. Why should we learn about grief?  Earl Grollman sums it up like this:
       
      1. Grief is not a disorder, a disease or a sign of weakness. It is an emotional, physical and spiritual necessity, the price you pay for love. The only cure for grief is to grieve.
    2.  
      1. If we love, we will grieve.  Part of loving well is grieving well.  

      1. If we flee from grief, we will also flee from love.    You can't love without eventually grieving
    4.  

  15. Last episode, I mentioned how our understanding of grief can be limited by assuming we have a single, homogenous monolithic personality. Today I'm going to share with you a much deeper and richer way to understand grief.
     
    1. From Episode 72 What Keeps You from Loving?  Is it Really Only Your Vices?  Discussion of Dimensions of Understanding Others or Ourselves.  -- We will get into that more today.  
      1. 0 Dimensions -- single point in space -- geometry, no dimensionality.  Personalizing it -- you are nothing to me.  
        1. No separate identity, not even really human, invisible -- the person doesn't exist for you.  
          1. “Love is not cold and what is cold is not love.” ― Marty Rubin 
          2. “Science may have found a cure for most evils; but it has found no remedy for the worst of them all -- the apathy of human beings.”― Helen Keller 
          3. “Indifference is more truly the opposite of love than hate is, for we can both love and hate the same person at the same time, but we cannot both love and be indifferent to the same person at the same time.” ― Peter Kreeft, Prayer For Beginners 
        2. Examples:
           
          1. Emotional detachment:  Ron -- fear of loss.  


 

  1. 1 Dimension -- line 
    1.  Only one quality -- very self-referential, the person in orbit around me and my needs.  
    2. Often
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