Episode Details

Why does a raised voice make you feel sick? Your nervous system is not overreacting. It learned that anger meant danger, and it is still doing its job.

I was shouted at as a child, so some of it is that. Some of it is the person triggering something older. I get triggered by my daughter more than almost anybody, because I care and because I expected more. Nobody owns the road, and yet everybody wants to park in front of their own house. Anger is a hammer. It can smash a thing up or build something.

One thing to try: When it lands, ask one question. Did I expect more from them than I would from a stranger?

In this episode

• (0:02) The sharp email, the raised voice, and your stomach turning
• (2:48) Your nervous system is doing what it learned to do
• (5:10) Being shouted at as a child, and what it left
• (7:19) Nobody owns the road, and everybody wants to park on it
• (9:25) Triggered by my daughter more than most, because I care
• (11:57) You are not stuck in the past. Anger is a hammer

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Thank you for listening.

Steven

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