Episode Details

If you're running a team, maintaining your composure is your single most important skill. The slowest heart rate in the room runs the room. I help leaders manage their triggers so they run their teams more effectively. 

Today I want to talk about what to do when you want an employee to change in some way, and you're thinking that they just won't be that into it. How do you "motivate" employees to grow without triggering their resistance? 

If you want people to commit to change, it has to matter to them. The most effective leaders don’t just help their employees set goals—they help them connect those goals to something deeply meaningful. Without this connection, motivation fizzles as soon as life throws a wrench in the works or the next shiny project comes along.

Why Meaning Drives Change

People don’t change just because they “should.” They change because they see the value in it for themselves. When a goal is tied to something personally meaningful, it transforms from an obligation into an opportunity.

Think about an employee struggling with communication. If their manager simply tells them to “speak up more in meetings,” they may view it as a chore. But when they recognize that improving communication will help them become a stronger leader and open doors for career advancement, they’ll be much more motivated to develop that skill — even when practicing feels awkward or scary.

How to Make Change Meaningful

1. Ask Why It Matters – Instead of focusing only on what needs to change, ask, “Why is this important to you?” Keep asking “why” until you uncover a deeper motivation.
2. Connect to Their Values – People are more committed to goals that align with their core values. If someone values creativity, explore with them how a new process might help them be more innovative rather than just more efficient.
3. Link to a Bigger Purpose – Invite people to see how their personal growth could contribute to a larger mission that they care about, whether it’s improving the team, helping customers, or making an impact in their industry.

4. Listen Now