Episode Details

After betrayal, one of the first questions a woman asks is, “How can I trust my husband again?” What she’s often really wondering is, how can she trust herself to know if he’s trustworthy, when it seemed like it was so easy for him to deceive her before.

Women who want to feel emotionally safe again don’t need advice that pressures them to override their senses or their pain.

5 Ways to Know: How Can I Trust My Husband Again?

1. IF HE’S TRUSTWORTHY, YOUR BODY WILL NOTICE

So many women say that they sensed their husband’s story, timeline, or reactions were odd, even before they had proof of his deception. But they felt and were even told by their husband and sometimes others that they were “overreacting” or they’re accused of being “suspicious.” 

If your husband is becoming trustworthy, he’ll acknowledge that your feelings are valid and he’ll do whatever is needed to bring clarity and emotional safety. Your body can start to calm when you’re no longer having to be hyper-vigilant about everything.

2. He WON’T MakE Your Pain the Problem

The pain of learning that your husband lied to you, cheated, and had a double life is overwhelming and completely normal. A trustworthy man will acknowledge the pain he caused and he won’t pressure you to “get over it” or act like you’re punishing him. 

He will understand why you don’t trust him and he’ll tell the truth even when it means negative consequences for him.

3. YOU NO LONGER HAVE TO DIG FOR THE WHOLE TRUTH

When a woman learns of her husband’s betrayal, every conversation about it can feel like an investigation. Often, the truth comes in bits and pieces.

Your husband may have even said he didn’t tell you everything because he, “didn’t want to hurt you.” That might sound like compassion, but you can’t decide what’s best for your emotional safety if you don’t know the whole truth about your husband’s betrayal.

If your husband is serious about being trustworthy, he won’t believe that it’s okay for you to not know everything.

4. His Actions Make Your Life Feel Lighter, Not Heavier

After a husband’s betrayal, many women are told that rebuilding trust is partly their responsibility. They’re encouraged to consider how his childhood wounds, stress, or shame caused him to be dishonest and to support him by making things easier for him at home.

If he is becoming trustworthy, he won’t expect you to be responsible for any part of his repair or recovery. And he won’t let you struggle with managing the weight of his betrayal in addition to responsibilities at home alone just because he needs relief.

5. You WON’T Have to Betray Yourself to TRUST HIM

This may be the clearest sign of all. Is he showing signs that you can you trust him to accept the truth about how you feel now. Does he accept that the relationship may never be the “same as it was?”

If he’s becoming trustworthy, he won’t just be trying to get back to the way things were, he’ll accept what his betrayal did to you as a person and how it changed the relationship.

So, How Can I Trust My Husband Again?

If you feel anxious, suspicious, numb, angry, or afraid, it may mean your body is still trying to protect you. And that is perfectly normal.

You don’t have to c