Episode Details

The world is more beautiful than the world wide web. 现实世界比互联网要美妙多了。

My wish was actually really simple, which is to see the world with my own eyes. During this Eurail trip, I used Couchsurfing to save money and experience local cultures on a deeper level. I stayed and met up with around twenty Couchsurfing hosts in these two months. In my Couchsurfing profile, I specifically stated that I didn’t use Couchsurfing to date. I published my schedule for this trip and I had received around a hundred offers to stay.   

You could see their past hosting experiences and the references left by guests on the hosts’ profile. So I tried to find the hosts with nice reviews and those who could offer a spare room. I would say most of the experiences have been great, but there were a few ones which I found a bit uncomfortable. I’ll share one today. I will also bring up a few questions at the end of the episode  which I hope will get you thinking. I would love to hear your thoughts and ideas, so please share them!

After a couple of days sorting my stuff in Barcelona, I took a flight to Nice to continue my Eurail journey. My couchsurfing host in Nice, France, who had lived there about 9 years with his family. His apartment was centrally located and it was perfect for my next journeys to Monaco and Geneva. I felt really lucky! During the time staying with him, there were also two couchsurfers from Kazakhstan sharing the apartment. It turned out we were going to the same travel conference those days too. I didn’t know those girls very well, but they seemed really friendly. The host was also lovely and helpful. However, those days the host often complained to me in private that he felt used when the girls had the breakfast he offered and never asked to wash the dishes or cook anything back. He never said anything right in front of them, though. I felt a bit uncomfortable about the situation and offered to make dumplings and buy lunch to compensate even though I was out of their interactions. I was trying to be a good guest however became somewhat uneasy living in his place as the week went on. It seemed that my efforts were interpreted the wrong way as some kind of romantic spark and some comments became uncomfortably flirtatious. I sincerely thought the host was a very gracious and nice person. However, in the end, I felt relieved when I finally left his place. 

It got me thinking about a couple of questions, which I still don’t have conclusive answers to. I would be interested to hear other people’s views. 

What is appropriate behavior for the host and the guest? Is it the same across cultures and  how could we objectively understand the meaning behind words and actions? If a guest feels uncomfortable with something they see or with something they experience in a host’s place, is it appropriate to challenge this and if so, how? When we write a reference about a