Episode Details

Are you wondering if there’s something wrong with your husband or boyfriend? Here are 5 silent red flags in a relationship that you need to know. If you relate to this episode, did you know that there are 19 types of emotional abuse? Take our free emotional abuse test to see if you’re experiencing this.

1. Coming On Strong Early On

Like most red flags, abusers will often come on very strong early on. In Ayla’s case, her abuser immediately began to love-bomb her with attention, a job offer, flattery, and affection.

Abusers may:

• Tell you they love you
• Ask you to be in a committed relationship
• Initiate sex
• Propose
• Ask you to meet their family
• Give you money or ask you for money
• Divulge “secrets” early on in order to “bond” with you – but later you may find out these were lies

2. Isolating You (It’ll Seem Romantic At First)

The second red flag in a relationship is isolation. It may be hard to spot, because it can be camouflaged romantically. Abusers isolate victims by usurping their time. They spend every waking moment with the victim, which can feel romantic. They may condition the victim to feel dependent on them OR tell the victim that they (the abuser) are emotionally dependent on the victim.

Abusers often take up so much emotional and physical space. Isolation can extend to a physical move to where the victim doesn’t have any friends or family.

3. Pushing You To Have A Child With Them

Interestingly, abusers often request and then push for the victim to bear their child. This is a of the silent red flags in a relationship. Many abusers want their victims to get pregnant, because it’s a way for him to basically control you the rest of your life.

If he is talking about having a child with you early on, or after you have expressed hesitation, consider this a red flag. Having a child with someone legally ties you to them until the child is eighteen. This is a sure-fire way for the abuser to have contact with you and a degree of control in your life and the child’s life.

4. “You’re Saving Me” (Also Romantic At First)

Another silent red flags in a relationship is that the abuser may use phrases like:

• I didn’t know what I needed until you came along.
• I felt this void until you were here, now I feel whole.
• When I’m not with you I feel empty.
• I didn’t know what I wanted to do with my life until I