Episode Details

If you’re thinking about divorce or recently divorced, you may wonder, “Do good men exist?” Here’s what to consider if you’re worried about being single.

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Transcript: Do Good Men Exist?

Anne: I’m more than excited to have my friend Gretchen Baskerville on today’s episode. She’s a Christian living in the Los Angeles area. She’s been doing Christian divorce recovery ministry in churches since 1998. She hears many, many heartbreaking stories of betrayal and abuse, as you can imagine. We’re talking about do good men exist.

And from her experience, she’s found that many Christian women married serial cheaters. Or men who are cheating or physically or emotionally abusive. These women tend to try to fix their marriage. They pray, they forgive, they go to counseling. One of the reasons is because they want to be married they are wondering if any good men even exist.

They think I better make it work with this guy. They’re terrified to be single. Because I don’t want to be single, and it’s going to be too hard for me to find a good man. At the end, we’re going to address the question, do good men exist? And we’re going to start by talking about a different way to reframe being single. Welcome Gretchen.

Gretchen: It’s so great to be with you again, Anne.

Anne: Lately, when people say God hates divorce, or when I hear that statement, I think of you. And then I say, God loves divorce. And I just come back at them with that and say, what are you talking about? God loves divorce because he loves me. And it set me free. Divorce delivered me from wickedness. It delivered me from abuse. And I’m grateful to be divorced, and actually proud of it.

Gretchen: You just said how happy you were to be divorced.

The Hard Decision Of Divorce & Myths

Gretchen: And I truly look back now, 25 years later and say, divorce is the hardest decision I ever made. But it was also one of the best decisions I’ve ever made. And because we as Christians, as people of devout faith, we take marriage very, very seriously. We don’t believe in I’m bored divorces or I miss the party life divorces.

We hang in there. And we hang in there oftentimes longer than is good for us and for our children. As a devout person of faith. I am against frivolous divorce, but I am 100% in favor of life saving divorces because it saves the life of parents and children.

So let’s jump into those myths. I think the first myth, especially as a person of faith, at least in my upbringing, was