Episode Details

Did you know that emotional abuse and infidelity always happen together?

If your husband has been unfaithful, take this free emotional abuse quiz to see if you’re experiencing any of the 19 types of emotional abuse that occurs with infidelity.

Betrayal Is Abuse Because It Involves All These Psychological Abuse Tactics

1. Lying

He lies to hide infidelity, secret spending, or pornography use. Betrayal never happens without lying.

Hiding things like watching pornography, having secret relationships, or not being honest about money are forms of abuse.

This kind of lying is meant to control the situation and stop the victim from making choices to keep herself safe.

2. Gaslighting

He makes his wife question her own feelings, memories, and what she sees. He tells her she’s remembering things wrong or that she’s just overreacting, even when something is clearly wrong.

Abusers tell lies or create a fake version of what’s real to stay in control. This makes victims feel confused because their gut tells them one thing, but the abuser’s words or actions say something different.

3. Breaking Down Confidence

Abusers slowly hurt a person’s self-esteem over time. They might do this by always criticizing them, making mean jokes about them, or ignoring their feelings.

Want to learn more about the 19 types of emotional abuse? Take this free emotional abuse quiz.

Why Infidelity is Abusive

Betrayal isn’t just about broken trust—it affects how victims see themselves and the world.

When an abuser manipulates or lies, it interferes with the victim’s ability to trust their own instincts. Over time, this puts her in more and more danger.

How to Spot Abusive Betrayal

Here are signs that betrayal is abuse:

• Blaming you for their wrongdoings (e.g., “It’s your fault I did this”)
• Hiding or denying harmful actions.
• Criticizing or minimizing your emotions when you bring up concerns.
• Using religious or cultural systems to justify harmful behavior.

Healing From Betrayal

Healing from betrayal takes time, but here are steps you can take:

• Acknowledge the Abuse: Learn more about this type of abuse by listening to The FREE Betrayal Trauma Betrayal Recovery Podcast
• Get the Right Support: Join our online betrayal trauma support group.
• Learn Safety Strategies To Protect Yourself: Enroll in The Clarity After Betrayal Workshop to discover if your husband is emotionally abusive and learn emotional safety strategies to protect yourself.

Remember, you deserve respect and honesty, always.

Why Infidelity is Emotionally Abusive

If he’s unfaithful, he’ll subtly pretend like he’s not the type to be unfaithful, which is emotional abuse. If he’s cheated on you, but he’s said anything like the statements below, he’s emotionally abusive:

• Showing immense (false) compassion for women who have been cheated on
• Showing immense (false) compassion