Episode Details

What is victim blaming? It’s when someone blames you instead of the person who harmed you. It’s a tactic used, not only by abusers, but also by everyone else. Victim blaming invalidates our experience as victims of emotional and psychological abuse and coercion. If you’re being blamed for your husband’s lies, manipulation, and infidelity, you need support. Attend a Betrayal Trauma Recovery Group Session TODAY.

To discover if you are a victim of emotional abuse, take this free emotional abuse quiz.

7 Victim Blaming Examples

In this episode, to answer the question, “What is victim blaming?” We’ll highlight seven victim blaming examples:

1. Connection is the solution to addiction
2. Reactive Abuse
3. Drama Triangle
4. Trauma Bonding
5. Stockholm Syndrome
6. Learned Helplessness
7. Pro-dependency

The Addiction Recovery Complex uses many of these victim blaming tropes to harm women. Here’s everything you need to know about victim blaming.

Transcript: What Is Victim Blaming?

Anne: Kate, you’re a member of our amazing community, and you see these themes come up over and over.

Anne: Let’s start with number one, connection is the solution to addiction. What is victim blaming about this?

1: Connection Is The Solution To Addiction

Kate: “The opposite of addiction is connection,” that is all crap. Connection will not heal or fix them. It’s not going to be, “If I connect with him more, he’s not going to be abusive.” That does not happen. They gave the example of rats addicted to cocaine. Then they put them in the other rat park, and suddenly the rat didn’t want the cocaine anymore. He wanted to be with other rats. That doesn’t happen in reality.

If it did, most of our husbands would not be abusive. Because we’ve given them all the connection, attachment, and love in the world. And it doesn’t work.

Anne: It doesn’t work because they’re not connect-to-able. It’s like you’re velcro and capable of connecting, and they’re a rock. But after that Ted Talk, where the