Episode Details

You don’t have anything wrong with you if you left an emotionally abusive marriage and your new husband is abusive too.

This episode follows Chandra’s Story:
This Is How Abusers Manipulate Their Victims – Chandra’s First Marriage
Part 2: When My New Husband Is Abusive Too – Chandra’s Second Marriage (THIS EPISODE)

When women experience a second abusive husband, they may blame themselves:

• I’ve already been through this once, how could I make this mistake again?
• What is it about me that attracts me to abusers?
• Why didn’t I see the signs sooner?
• Why didn’t I do this, this, and this differently?

Here’s the truth: you are not to blame for his behaviors when your new husband is abusive too.

Blaming yourself for abuse by another man is needless torture. You have been through enough – please exercise compassion for yourself rather than judgment. Many women, including Chandra, experience embarrassment and shame when they realize their new husband is also abusive. This shame and embarrassment may deter them from seeking safety early on, believing that with enough grit and determination, they can make the marriage work.

BTR.ORG Is Here When Your New Husband Is Abusive Too

Victims of abuse who have a new husband may feel discouraged, embarrassed, and hopeless. Sometimes, victims express feeling silly or pathetic for having entered into a second marriage.

There is nothing wrong with wanting to be loved. In fact, this is a normal part of being human. What is NOT normal, is being abusive. You are not the problem here – the abuser is the problem.

If you are experiencing trauma from a second husband, please join our BTR.ORG Group Sessions today. You deserve a healing community of loving, compassionate women who understand.

Transcript: When My New Husband Is Abusive Too

Anne: Chandra, a member of our community, is back on today’s episode. Last week, she told the story about her emotionally abusive first husband. This week, we’ll talk about her second husband, her new husband is abusive too. If you haven’t heard about her first marriage, go back and listen to last week first, and then join us here.

Chandra, welcome back.

Chandra: I’m still wrapping my head around grace for myself for not knowing before that my new husband was abusive. And getting into that situation again. I feel like, why didn’t I see the red flags after what I’d been through? Maybe it was too soon? I hadn’t learned the lessons I needed before another relationship. And I thought I