Episode Details

Gaslighting is a calculated maneuver that emotional and psychological abusers use to keep women stuck. How do abusers gaslight? Dr. Jessica Taylor, author of Why Women Are Blamed for Everything and Sexy But Psycho talks with Anne Blythe M.Ed, about specific details with real life stories.

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Abusers Use THESE PHRASES To Gaslight YOU

Wondering if you’ve been a victim of gaslighting? Dr. Jessica Taylor and Anne share some of these common phrases and conversations that abusers may use with victims to distort their reality and cause them to wonder if they’re capable of discerning truth:

• “I’ve asked our family and friends to pray for you.”
• “You’re overly emotional.”
• “You’re mentally unwell.”
• “Have you been taking your medication?”
• “Have you considered going to therapy?”
• “No one is going to believe you.”
• “No one is going to support you/like you/believe you/listen to you.”
• “I know you care about our family, and ever since you started ______ (listening to this podcast, reading this book, talking to this friend, etc), you’ve been disconnected/too “feminist”/hurting our family, etc.”
• “The light in your eyes is gone – I think you’ve lost the Spirit.”

Abusers Use THESE PHRASES To Gaslight Advocates

Advocates include YOUR family, friends, clergy, victim advocates (such as DV workers), medical care providers, and others:

• “She hasn’t been taking her medication.”
• “Please pray for her – she needs all of our help right now.”
• “She’s been acting unusual lately.”
• “I’ve done all I can.”
• “I’m worried she’s losing her mind.”
• “I’m scared she’s going to leave the Church.”
• “She’s been violent with me and the children.”
• “I think she’s cheating on me.”
• “I love her so much, I wish she’d come back to us.”

Transcript: How Do Abusers Gaslight Victims & Advocates?

Anne: I have Dr. Jessica Taylor, the author of Why Women Are Blamed for Everything. And the newly released Sexy, but Psycho, she has a PhD in forensic psychology and is the director of Victim Focus. Welcome Dr. Taylor.

Dr. Jessica Taylor: Thank you so much for having me.

Anne: In America, most news will say there was a domestic disturbance. Like they were having a fight, then he killed her. Rather than saying he was abusive and killed her. And then at the bottom of that article, they’ll say, call the national domestic abuse hotline. As if calling a number, those of us who have dealt