Episode Details

After the emotional abuse seems to have stopped, is your husband vulnerable, loving, and making an effort to change, or is he love bombing you? Laurel is on the podcast today, talking about 3 ways to know he’s love bombing you.

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1. Grooming With False Vulnerability & Image Management Is Love Bombing

Abusive husbands weaponize false vulnerability – they’ll abuse their wives, then reel them back in by love bombing them with false vulnerability. This can look like:

• Confessing “sins”
• Admitting to affairs, pornography use, dark secrets
• Opening up about their traumatic past relationships or traumatic childhood
• Admitting insecurities

Abusers use the concept of vulnerability to generate compassion from the victim to keep her in the relationship.

2. Is He Mirroring You? That’s Love Bombing

Often, abusive men use “mirroring” to love bomb victims. This can be subtle, like mirroring the victim’s:

• Religious beliefs
• Family values
• Academic interests
• Political views

Or more specific, like mirroring the victim’s:

• Hobbies
• Facial expressions
• Favorite foods
• Saying his experience is the same dreams, or traumas of the victim

The abuser uses mirroring as a love bombing tool to generate feelings of intimacy and image management. This form of love bombing can make the victim believe he relates to her; it can manipulate her into feeling seen and understood.

3. He Lies With Intent, That’s Love Bombing

Love bombing is essentially a lie, because it’s a manipulation that he does to give you the impression that he’s the perfect guy for you.

But How Do I Know It’s Love Bombing, & Not Just Life?

Many victims want to give the abuser the benefit of the doubt:

• Maybe he’s just going through a mid-life crisis
• Maybe he’s just stressed out and that’s why there are these extreme ups and downs
• Don’t all relationships go through periods of romance a