Episode Details

If men knew how deeply their actions affected victims, would they continue to lie and manipulate? Infidelity leaves lasting, painful trauma that can affect a victim’s life for years after the betrayal.

If you need support check out The Betrayal Trauma Recovery Group Session Schedule.

Transcript: How Does Infidelity Harm Victims?

Hillevi was born in Valparaiso, Indiana. In 1993 she married her now-husband. Together with their five children, they lived a dream marriage until Hillevi discovered his secret life of infidelity in 2013, shortly after they moved to the mountains of Colorado.

Supporting Victims of Infidelity

Hillevi has listened to this podcast from the beginning. She has been a devoted supporter of Betrayal Trauma Recovery, not just emotionally, but also financially, by supporting the Betrayal Trauma Recovery Podcast. I want to thank her for her continued support to Betrayal Trauma Recovery, because this podcast is due in part to Hillevi and women like her who support this podcast.

Hillevi: Thank you so much because you too have done a lot to support the rest of us women who have experienced infidelity, I listen avidly to your podcast.

What I Felt Was Like A Sisterhood

Anne: You said that you were listening from the very beginning where I was sort of a mess crying in the microphone. Fumbling around trying to figure this out. You have seen in real-time me come into my full understanding and power that I’m in now. Which is so different than I was four years ago. Just for our audience, you witnessing that real-time, what did you observe?

Hillevi: I felt like I was walking through everything I went through from the onset of my discovery of my husband’s betrayal, and what I felt was like a sisterhood. You were expressing things, feeling things in real-time. I had just passed through some of those emotions and was still struggling to find my way through this and maintain my marriage.

It was very much just kind of a give and take of: I hear you, I understand, I’ve been there, I’m going through that again. It’s not just a single straight path of a timeline. It was definitely great to have you along for the ride or me along for your ride.

The Codependency Model Blames Victims

Anne: And vice versa because we’re all in this together in this journey of healing from infidelity. It’s really cool to be part of that collective community. When someone has an epiphany and they let me know about it then I can podcast about it and that helps other women have epiphanies.

We’re all working together to come out of the fog. Also, I feel like all of us are genuinely praying for truth