Episode Details

If you’ve discovered your husband lies, you’re probably asking, “Is lying emotional abuse?”

Is Lying Emotional Abuse? 3 Things

1. If His Lying Makes You Question Reality, It’s Not “Just Lying”

If interactions with your husband leave you confused or second-guessing your memory, that’s not normal conflict. That’s your mind trying to make sense of two competing realities: what you see and what he says.

If, so keep reading. It’s likely that his lies are a form of emotional abuse.

2. If His Lying Is Ongoing and Tactical, It’s Control

It’s important to watch for patterns. If his deception is ongoing and long term, it’s been a way to control you’re perceptions. This form of control is sustained and designed to maintain a double life.

Lying in this way is emotional abuse because it manipulates your emotions and decisions.

3. If His Lying Benefits Him and Harms You…

If he’s lied to keep you from discovering things that are hurting you, like infidelity, secret money decisions, or anything else, he’s choosing to benefit from your lack of informed consent.

At that point, the question “Is lying emotional abuse?” stops being theoretical. It becomes painfully obvious. To see if his lies amount to emotional abuse, take my free emotional abuse test.

Many victims blame themselves while trying to understand the chaos. But the truth is simple. He chose to lie. He chose to manipulate. The responsibility is his.

Whether He Has a Diagnosis Or Not, Lying Is Emotionally Abusive

While some abusers may blame their lying on an addiction or even a mental illness, know that’s not true. He can choose to be honest no matter what his circumstances are.If you’re experiencing this and need support, join our daily support group for betrayal trauma.

Transcript: Is Lying Emotional Abuse?

Anne: I have Kelly, a victim of emotional abuse on today’s episode. She was a victim of financial abuse and also coercion. She’s going to share her story. And although Kelly and I are both Christian, we know that many listeners to this podcast aren’t. BTR is interfaith and inner paradigm. We welcome everyone.

We also invite everyone to share their own personal experience. So as you hear us mention our belief in God, it’s not to offend or to proselytize, but just because we’re sharing from our own experience. And if you’re interested in sharing your experience from whatever faith perspective or paradigm you ascribe to. I would be honored to hear your story. So contact me at podcast@btr.org to set up an interview. Okay, let’s start with your story.

Anne: Did you recognize your husband’s abusive behaviors at first?

Kelly: I certainly did not. In fact, it was probably about three and a half years into our marriage before someone first told me they could be considered abuse. Up until that point, I had always known that abuse in my mind involved physical violence. And that was not at play in my marriage.