Episode Details

Victim blaming is an insidious form of abuse in and of itself. In the betrayal trauma community, abusers, clergy, therapists, and others blame victims for “their part” in the betrayal and abuse they experience at the hands of their partners. Recognizing victim blaming is an essential skill in the toolkit of every victim.

Our Betrayal Trauma Recovery Group Sessions meet daily in every time zone and offers women the unique opportunity to process trauma, share their stories, ask important questions, and express hard feelings in a safe place.

Victim Blaming Is Harmful To Women

“We see time and time again women thinking: If I would have done something differently, if I looked different this wouldn’t have happened to me.”

Anne Blythe, founder of Betrayal Trauma Recovery

When women are blamed by abusive partners, family, friends, and professionals for their partner’s abusive and compulsive behaviors, there can be deeply harmful effects.

Because victims are conditioned to be compliant, many internalize false and harmful claims and begin to blame themselves. Furthermore, those close to the victim have the unique opportunity to help and support her. When they choose to blame her, overtly or covertly, they are enabling the abuser and putting the victim into harm’s way.

What Does Victim Blaming Look Like?

Wonder if you have experienced victim blaming? Here are some common statements that indicate that others are blaming you for the abuse and betrayal.

1. How have you contributed to your husband’s infidelity?
2. If you make yourself more available, he wouldn’t need to act out.
3. If you take care of yourself a little more, he would be more interested.
4. You need to be a safe person, so he won’t lie to you.
5. You should forgive him and move on.
6. How can you ever stay with him after this?

Listen to the Betrayal Trauma Recovery Podcast for more information on what victim blaming looks like.

Transcript: How To Recognize Victim Blaming

This episode follows Jenna’s Story:
Part 1: Is It Wrong To Check Your Husband’s Phone? – Jenna’s Experience
Part 2: The Best Way To Explain Betrayal Trauma
Part 3: How To Recognize Victim Blaming – Jenna’s Story (THIS EPISODE)