Episode Details

There’s another word for toxic – abusive. If you’re asking, “Is my husband toxic?” What you’re really asking is, is he emotionally or psychologically abusive. Here’s three things you need to know.

What Does “Toxic” Mean?

A toxic person uses manipulation, control, lies, and chaos to get what they want. Often, toxic men use emotional or psychological abuse tactics, which can be harder to detect than physical abuse, but is just as damaging.

See if he’s using any one of these 19 different types of emotional abuse. If he is, he’s toxic. Take our free emotional abuse quiz to find out.

Here are some red flags of toxic emotional or psychological abuse to watch out for in your marriage:

1. Manipulation

Does your husband often twist situations to make you feel like you’re the problem, even when he’s clearly at fault?

2. Control

Does he lie to control your perception of him, rather than meet you on equal grounds by telling the truth?

3. Objectification

Does he objectify women or exploit women?

Questions to Determine If Your Husband Is Toxic

If you’re unsure whether your husband’s behavior is toxic (abusive), ask yourself these questions:

1. Does he belittle my emotions, making me feel like I’m “too sensitive” or imagining things?
2. Does he undermine me by saying my friends or family don’t know what they’re talking about when they’re doing something to empower me?
3. When I express concerns, does he block conversation by storming off or shutting me down? Or start attacking me with the exact same “concerns” he’s never brought up before?
4. Does he dismiss or “forget” promises?
5. Has he ever lied to me about things he’s planning or what’s going to happen that he has no intention of ever actually planning or doing.
6. Does he frequently criticize, judge, or blame me instead of taking responsibility for his actions?
7. Do his words or actions make me feel small, unsafe, or like I’m constantly walking on eggshells?

If you answered “yes” to any of these, take our free test for emotional abuse that will help you know for sure.

What Your Husband’s Toxic Behavior Does to You

Living with emotional or psychological abuse can lead to chronic stress, an