Episode Details

If you’re new here, I try to monthly answer questions from our anonymous Have A Question page  As I have no way to contact these people, there’s no context other than what they give, and I can’t ask any follow up questions.  So, we do our best to answer with what we have.



These are the questions we received in February.



Question 1: What  can I do to become more comfortable with masturbating?




What  can I do to become more comfortable with masturbating? My husband is gone, so finding a person that can help me become more comfortable is out of the question.  I just don’t like doing it. There isn’t really any kind of interest in it.  It takes A LOT to get me turned on to even start and it is almost impossible to be able to orgasm at all. What can I do? I try porn, I try reading sex letters from my husband, why is it so hard to orgasm? I’m not fully comfortable with myself. Never have been and I can’t stop from being that way either. Because in my eyes my body is disgusting in some parts so I find myself undesirable. Even if someone tells me otherwise because people lie every day. 




This isn’t the answer you’re going to want, but I’m going to give it anyways.  I don’t think you should get more comfortable masturbating alone.  Personally, I believe that God made sex to be shared in a committed, life-long relationship, that it should be a shared experience, each and everytime, with that person.



Of course, when that person dies, that leaves an ache, of course.  It’s felt emotionally as well as physically for some.



Yet, I still believe that the counsel of “sex is for marriage” persists.  In fact ,there is a passage in 1 Timothy 5 that I would say suggests that if you are a widow and still have these passions, you should seek out a new husband.  



And while much of Christianity doesn’t like the idea of getting married to have sex, the fact it’s biblical.  Both in that 1 Timothy 5 passage as well as in 1 Corinthians 7:9 which says that it is better to marry than to burn with passion.



So, that’s the first part – if you feel physical desire, then the same advice goes for you as for a virgin girl – wait for marriage, that’s where it’s designed to be shared.



As for not being comfortable with your body, that’s another matter – that doesn’t necessarily need to wait until marriage.  It’s true that having a husband who will compliment you and show you how much he loves your body would help, but you can also do some things on your own.



One would be to be naked more often.  The more often you see yourself naked, the more often you are naked, the more comfortable you will be being naked.



Secondly, you can look at yourself in the mirror, every day, without clothes on, and find something you like.  Whether it’s your smile, your shoulders, your calves, breasts, butt, hips, or elbows.  Find something and compliment yourself.  Next day, find something else, or the same thing until you believe it.



Lastly, you can work on your health – people who are healthy tend to feel healthy.  Get out, go for walks, get some exercise, work on yourself.  Get fit and healthy and see if that helps improve your view of your body.



Question 2: Why wouldn’t he use lube?




Why would a husband push a swollen erection up his wife’s anus using no lube?