Episode Details

Here’s the truth: either you or someone you know has been victimized by sexual abuse. It’s a sad reality that most of us hate talking about. But if we don’t talk about it, the stigma and shame will continue its cycle in our hearts and relationships. Joining me on the podcast for this important and urgent conversation is my friend, Dr. Jessica McCleese, a psychologist and sex therapist. Jessica tells us her personal story of being sexually molested and abused and the havoc those experiences wreaked on her psyche. But she’s not alone. I, too, in a rare conversation, talk about my experience with sexual abuse and the damage it began to have on my marriage. But God.

So many women and men silently struggle with identity issues, guilt, confusion, embarrassment, shame, anger, and an array of other emotions because of sexual abuse. And many still won’t talk about it. I want to do my part to help people begin the path of healing and freedom from sexual abuse. Statistics show that 1 in 4 women and 1 in 6 men are sexually abused by the time they turn 18.[1] That’s a LOT of us!

Naturally, as I was wrapping up the All About Sex series, I concluded this was a topic that could be off limits no longer. We need real, honest, and helpful conversations about sexual abuse that will help single and married people to overcome all its damaging effects.

A few years ago, my friend, Terri, shared a spoken word at a women’s conference at our church entitled Story. Terri, too, is a survivor. With her permission, I am sharing her spoken word with you. May you find comfort in reading it:

She sits in distress

concerned and under arrest

She, sits in her pretty pink dress, afraid to tell her mom because she’d make a mess

of things

She’s six and he… he cornered her.

She’s not even old enough to write legible, his decibels rang in her ear: “TOUCH IT!”

She sits in distress

Concerned and under arrest

Her heart beats out of her chest

She’s too young to be shaken from the nest, but Satan’s jest was to destroy her…

And soon - her reality became a mental and physical battle of sexual brutality

As her molester sold her inexpensive lies that tied to her heart like - you’re so beautiful

and you deserve this…

And - just when her eye ducts began to swell, he whispered three destructive words:

DO NOT TELL

And she, she kept his word - that, secret tucked away privately, she put on insecurity

and suffered quietly and silently as he, ran away with my voice…

Her shackles grew stronger with age. She’s enraged at the world, every night curled into

the fetal position.

Nothing's more painful than knowing that the past you were living was just a counterfeit. 

Yet, nothing’s more rewarding than knowing that Christ is a redeemer

And Satan is a deceiver, he, wanted me to be sick of men, like fever, continually

attacking my views on fatherhood ... That is... 

Until I became a believer

I said Satan is a deceiver - one who gives a false impression

He wants you to be so wrapped up in what happened to you, that you neglect this

lesson: God. Is.

God. Is. So concerned about you that he, the Father, sent His own son to suffer - just

when you think your problems are rougher, God's love is tougher...

God. Is. A father to the fatherless. He is perfect relationship, and every time your lips

part to recant your past story, remember to allow God to get the glory

I committed to let God do surgery, I allowed Him to open me up and start purgin’ me - to,

mend the fabric that was torn from molestation, I even surrendered my teenage

frustration and hatred toward my earthly