Episode Details

Welcome back to the unSeminary podcast. We’re talking with Nick Stumbo, the Executive Director of Pure Desire Ministries.

According to a Barna study, 75% of Christian men and 40% of Christian women view pornography at least occasionally, with 67% of pastors having a personal history of porn use. How can churches effectively address pervasive issues of sexual brokenness and foster healing within their congregations? Tune in as Nick shares his personal journey of healing, and how churches can create both a safe place and a safe process through which people can experience transformation and freedom.

• Finding healing. // Despite the traditional approaches of using tools like accountability groups and software, Nick still found himself trapped in a cycle of pornography use during his time pastoring at East Hills Alliance Church. It wasn’t until he encountered Pure Desire’s deeper, more comprehensive approach—focused on understanding the “why” behind these behaviors—that he and his wife found lasting healing. His public disclosure to the church body led to a revival of forgiveness and healing that ultimately launched Pure Desire groups for men and women.
• A pervasive issue. // Sexuality is a deeply ingrained part of human identity and many people grow up without proper teaching or guidance on how to handle their sexual desires. This, combined with the pressures of living in a highly sexualized culture, creates a perfect storm for addiction to thrive.
• Addressing the root cause. // Pornography becomes the false solution to a real problem. We all have a warped view of our own identity and value and worth, and as a result, we have a warped view of who God is. Brokenness from past trauma or pain or lies we believe about ourselves stems from our early years. These emotional and psychological aspects of sexual brokenness need to be addressed for true healing to occur.
• The church’s key role. // Churches often outsource healing in the area of sexual brokenness, encouraging individuals to seek professional counseling rather than providing support within the church. However, Nick believes that churches can and should play a key role in providing healing through small group-based ministries. The church, as a body of believers, is uniquely equipped to offer a safe space where people can share their struggles, find support, and experience long-term transformation.
• Create a safe place. // Creating a culture of grace within the church is critical if we are going to shift the narrative surrounding sexual brokenness away from shame and secrecy and towards openness and support. Churches must become a safe space where people can confess their struggles without fear of condemnation. Leaders and staff may also feel pressured to present themselves as perfect. Rather than waiting until a crisis arises, begin creating a culture where issues of sexuality and pornography are discussed openly and regularly, without judgment. Provide opportunities for your staff to be discipled and pursue healing in this area as well.
• Create a safe process. // Pure Desire Ministries can help churches provide clear pathways for people to get help, such as offering group ministries that focus on long-term recovery. Men and women can walk through a structured healing process, unpacking their personal stories