Episode Details

Simone discusses why Asians reportedly find less joy in parenting compared to other ethnic groups, connecting this to the ultra-low fertility rates in many Asian countries. She delves into specific cultural practices, such as Korea's postpartum spas and elaborate first birthday ceremonies, as well as her and her partner's unique parenting styles. Using statistics and personal anecdotes, the video explores the complex interplay of cultural expectations, parenting joy, and societal pressures in Asian contexts.

[00:00:00]

Malcolm Collins: Hello, it's Simone. I'm excited to be talking to you today. Today, we are going to be talking about why Asians seem to hate being parents. And the statistics are really clear. Like Asians do not get as much joy for being parents as other ethnic groups. They do not like being around kids as much as other ethnic groups.

They do not find it as rewarding as other ethnic groups. And you see this across Asian groups. And in addition to that. You see, no, you see this correlated heavily, I think, in part with why so many Asian countries have ultra low fertility rates or their level of income. I mean, if you're saying why, why are they so low fertility rate? Well, you know, it might have something to do with them not liking being parents that would obviously affect things.

And this is actually brought to my attention by Simone, which I thought was really interesting. The second thing we're going to dig into is interesting customs focusing on Korea as an example here because it is the lowest fertility of these countries. So we're [00:01:00] going to look at what it feels like to be an average Korean or what Koreans are saying in the polls right now.

And then we're going to go from that to some of the ceremonies that shocked me, these ultra expensive ceremonies that Koreans have to have. Although it's

Simone Collins: telling you about like first birthdays, things like that.

Malcolm Collins: Yeah, first birthdays, the postpartum. I didn't realize what percent of Koreans went to these like special postpartum spas.

It's like 80 percent or something. It's really hot.

Simone Collins: It's huge. And when one of their proposed pronatalist policies is to provide more coverage for payment for those, because people are like, well, this is so expensive. How can I afford it? But then no one else goes to them. This is a you thing. But whatever.

Malcolm Collins: Yeah. And Just before we go through all the stats, I'll also get to my explanation for why. So you don't need to, to, to stay and wait and wonder here. Why am I going to say, I think that the genetic thing could be part of it. See our episode is low East Asian fertility genetic.

There is an [00:02:00] evolutionary reason why it may be lower which would also tie to parenting joy.

But the second thing that I think it might be And I think this is probably the bigger thing is I think that we should divide the parenting on an axis, you know, like that political access chart. Oh, every time I hear

Simone Collins: access, I just think hot crazy. It's the only graph I ever think of. Oh, the hot crazy

Malcolm Collins: axis?

Yes, of course. The economic liberal, the you know, the conservative. Ah, yes,

Simone Collins: yes,

Malcolm Collins: yes, yes. So I think all parenting styles fall broadly on an axis of how high touch they are versus how low touch they are. Okay. And how loving they are versus how ruthless they are.

Simone Collins: Oh, so like helicopter to free range, tiger mom to Hippie dad.

Yeah. So,

Malcolm Collins: so, so, if you're talking about the various quadrants, the quadrant that is high touch and ruthless would be tiger mom. Yes.

Simon