Episode Details

When your grown child stops speaking to you, the silence is its own kind of grief, made worse by a world that assumes you must have done something unforgivable. In this episode, psychologist Dr. Joshua Coleman, author of *Rules of Estrangement*, joins Lisa to explain why adult children pull away and what actually helps rebuild the relationship.

Dr. Coleman names what estranged parents rarely hear: this is common, it's rarely the story people assume, and divorce is one of its biggest drivers (70% of estranged parents in his research had divorced). He and Lisa separate estrangement from alienation and get honest about a hard shift: adult children now hold the power, and behaviors a previous generation shrugged off are now named as harmful. His advice is to listen without defensiveness, lead with empathy, and practice radical acceptance that keeps the door open. He also shares what the data says about reconciliation, and why there's real hope.

This is strategic education, not legal or mental-health advice for your specific situation.

✅ WHAT YOU'LL LEARN
✅ Why parental estrangement is more common than anyone admits
✅ The difference between estrangement and alienation
✅ Why divorce is one of the biggest drivers of estrangement
✅ Why adult children now hold the power in these relationships
✅ How shifting cultural definitions of harm fuel misunderstandings
✅ Why listening without defensiveness beats defending yourself
✅ How radical acceptance keeps the door open to reconciliation
✅ What the research says about reconnection, and why there's hope

⏱️ TIMESTAMPS (+1:00 for the bumper)
0:00 Intro
1:00 Estrangement vs. alienation, and why divorce is a catalyst
12:43 Why adult children hold the power now
20:23 Reconnecting: empathy, radical acceptance, and hope

CTA (spoken): Navigating estrangement with your kids? Book a free discovery call at beentheregotout.com.
Books: When Your Ex Turns the Kids Against You — https://www.amazon.com/Been-There-Got-Out-Against/dp/1967674183 · Been There Got Out — https://www.amazon.com/Been-There-Got-Relationships-Circumstances/dp/194627495X/
Tags: parental estrangement, adult child estrangement, rules of estrangement, joshua coleman, reconnecting, estrangement vs alienation, radical acceptance, high conflict divorce