Episode Details

Book a Free Consultation with Peter

Today is a podcast request. Yes! I take requests. So if you have an idea for a podcast, send me an email.

So this is a listener who wanted to talk about the idea of being too nice.

So being too nice. She said, how often have you heard, "You're too nice."

I have had a few times and while I appreciate the other person's honesty and transparency, it got me thinking about the undertone behind that phrase, especially when it comes to going after what you want as an actor, performer or artist.

In pop culture, actors can get a general reputation for being, dare I say it, self centered or too into themselves.

But you also hear about those mostly established actors who also get the, "Oh, they're so great to work with and are so nice. What rules do you follow? What rules do you fudge a little?"

Especially if you're still trying to establish yourself as an actor.

Does being too nice translate into being too safe?

Is it a balance of being kind with luck? and timing.

When someone says this, what are they communicating?

You're not being fully honest with yourself or would be not being nice mean focusing on others, not on yourself energy.

I decided to take this subject and tackle it this week. And give five kind of points on how to navigate that being too nice, but not being stepped on as an actor and an artist.

Now, some of these things, guess what? I know big surprise. If you listen to my podcast on a regular basis, you will notice they are, some of them sound familiar.

And the first one is just that, set clear boundaries.

Being kind doesn't mean saying yes to everything.

My favorite codependents out there. Are you hearing that?

Being kind doesn't mean saying yes to everything. Clearly define your limits, and that means with yourself, such as your working hours, your ideas on a particular project, and communicate, how you would want to be communicated.

So if somebody keeps emailing you, but you don't see it, tell them, "Hey, it would be better to text me instead."

Now there's something else I wanted to talk about with this.

I really think that the idea of being too kind and being too, aggressive, which I'm going to get to in a minute.

It also has to do with knowing yourself emotionally, and being emotionally self sufficient, so that your niceness doesn't overcompensate for your lack of belief in yourself.

One of the things I talk about in the weekly adjustment, which is my core work class is that I talk about how important it is to be able to get yourself out of those emotional and mental ruts or spirals so that you don't try and look to your work or to your business to fix you.

How many decades have I done that?

So it's so essential that you set boundaries with yourself.

I'm also going to give you a tip on if you are one of those people who just is yes.

Memorize these words: Let me get back to you.

I just need to check on something.

Let me get back to you.

And then you if you think you want to say yes, you can say that sounds good, but let me get back to you.

And if you can memorize that before saying yes, you're going to help yourself out, especially during the busy season.

Okay. Next one. Be assertive, but not aggressive. In a business meeting recently, someone said "you're very aggressive."

And I, I literally said, "No, I'm not. I said, I'm actually assertive."

And then they said to me, they go, "You know what? You're right. You're assertive. You