Episode Details

William Parker, a principal and author of Principal Matters, explains how to deal with difficult parents, students and staff. His first step: make sure you are not the difficult person. After that he listens first, stays firm and friendly, and agrees to disagree when he has to.

Parker tells how a principal friend admitted to a parent that she had yelled at a student, and the conversation turned into a counseling moment. He also explains how he talks to underperforming teachers privately, follows up in writing, and keeps it about performance, not personality.

What you'll learn

• Check your temperament before you walk into a meeting, since nobody there knows what your day has been like.
• Open with a question like what can I do to help you, take notes and keep an open posture.
• Tell the truth about what happened, even when it makes you look bad, and stay friendly and consistent.
• Invite everyone involved to one table instead of talking around people who are not present.
• Follow up conversations with a struggling teacher in writing, by email or evaluation notes, and keep them about performance.

Chapters

• 0:00 Make sure you are not the difficult person
• 1:25 Why you carry your whole day into meetings
• 5:00 Seek to understand and use open posture
• 7:09 Being firm and friendly with an upset parent
• 12:19 When a parent goes to the superintendent
• 15:01 Handling difficult teachers privately and documenting
• 21:05 Honest feedback with new and career teachers
• 24:58 Performance, not personality, in hard conversations

Times are for the episode without ads. Your player may be off by the length of any ads.

Questions this episode answers

How do you deal with a difficult parent as a principal?
Parker starts by making sure he is not the difficult person, then listens to understand, takes notes and keeps an open posture. He stays firm but friendly, and if they still disagree he says they can agree to disagree while he respects them.

What do you say when a parent threatens to call the superintendent?
Parker tells them they are welcome to do that, and says he repeats his points so they are clear when they talk to others. He explains which decisions can be appealed and which cannot, so they know what to expect.

How do you have a hard conversation with a struggling teacher?
Parker talks with the teacher privately, asks questions, and follows up in writing by email or evaluation notes. He is honest about the challenge and the options, and keeps it on performance: it is not an issue of me and you, he says, it is an issue of you and you.

About William Parker

Principal in Oklahoma, author of Principal Matters and writer of a weekly blog for school leaders at williamdparker.com.

Links and resources

• William Parker's blog
• Principal Matters by Will Parker
• Will Parker, episode 24
• Rate on iTunes
• Rate on Stitcher
• Simple School Sites
• Jethro Jones on Twitter
• Transformative Principal on Twitter
• Communication Cards