Episode Details

TIMESHIFT_Short and concise:

I am back, a bit different though– I have done (still am doing) a lot of reflection. At times when I withdraw, I can see the big picture and then wait for the right time to act, respond, and share.

It is clear that the timelines have shifted, as has my attention. The way I will spend my energy (Qi, Prana, Breath) is only focused on what can be regenerative, which means vessels that are not ready to receive will not benefit from the encounter, for they won’t be able to realize, see, feel, or sense anything missing– so no need to sweat it. If you are still here reading, there must be something about our relationship that still calls for your attention, so thank you!

R-Evolving Cycles:

At the end of the last summer, I made a commitment to myself, and it has started to bear fruit already; as I entered another cycle in the spiral, I felt I was evolving in the manner in which I related to my needs after all the Lunar nodes made certain I would focus on the Taurus side of the action, while the Scorpio end was confronting, and shedding. 

I hate stereotypes– the moment I sense a definition, my impulse is to fly away, to dismiss it… and yet last September, due to unforeseen events, I jumped on the boat of “Why not?” 

-Why not try what gives me MORE fear?

Yeah! The invitation was coming from a place full of light, but I needed to trust my instincts and intuition inside the threshold, to be certain of one thing only: I would not create expectations, yet I would work with “deep-felt intentions”.

-And what are those, Monika dear? You are starting to sound cryptic!

Let me unpack– I looked back at all the so-called “crazy things” I did in my life that lead me here, and all of them have SOME things in common:

-Courage

-Curiosity 

-Wit 

-Endurance

-Transformation

-Self-inquiry

-Perseverance in research/learning/education

-Knowing when cycles have ended

Hereditary responsibilities

-Help your siblings, hold their hands, show them how…

-Yield to their needs, you are faster and smarter… 

Blah, blah, blah. I have been taking on responsibilities that were not mine.  Many of them I inherited without asking, or I jumped into, because I knew what was needed, due to conditioning I did not know I had!!!

At least that was what I was made to believe– the way I was conditioned was that because I can and I am able, I MUST take care of others. NO!

Close your eyes and imagine two puppet hands near your face: one says I WANT; the other screams I NEED. Well, these hands come at me, for me at all times, and I now have a choice to engage or not.

The co-dependent cycle explained by my astrology

That was the codependent cycle right there. There is a repeating theme of a lack of boundaries (emotional, nonetheless) and the willingness to learn to discern how to relate to others, including intimately, so I can be individuated and become free from attachments, addictions, and codependent relationships with people, situations, and things.

I learned to say a hard “NO!"

Another aspect is my relationship values, which are supporting my creative, joyful, colorful outtakes, and my lust for life, with awareness, smells, textures, and beauty all around. 

The path from traumatic past lives, while connecting to peers, was not equal; I feel at times I could have been a tyrant, leading to betrayals and an emotional, mental, and even physical dissociation as a protective response. Having dealt with Trauma diligently, I have turned the current direction towards a creative and emotional liberation, which is in 2/3rds of the way. 

I am intense! I know it, and the emotional path is the destination – so having learned how to operate with an emotional authority, has been MAJOR. E