Episode Details

“The best political, social, and spiritual work we can do is to withdraw the projection of our shadow onto others.”

— C.G. Jung

Swimmer's Ear - Temporarily Deaf

It has been several weeks since I can't hear from my left ear.

Perhaps it's due to excessive noise from the external environment? That's what my inner voice has been emphasizing...

Or could it be the water that clogged my Eustachian tube?, I can barely perceive music, and it's quite frustrating.

I've tried everything —Polyvagal exercises, lymphatic draining, humming, breathing, tuning forks, meditation, jumping, homeopathic drops, and more. I typically explore natural remedies first, followed by insights into the emotional-psychological aspects.

Only as a last resort do I consider consulting a conventional doctor; my innate stubbornness insists that I'm not there yet. Hence, these reflections.

Harmony through mood

~How to balance the 'me' and the 'we'?

Oh yes! Something recently showed up!

When I receive flattering attention, especially in new conditions, it feels great. In fact, it is a luring feeling of wanting to merge with the sensation of being one with something or someone or just being appreciated and seen by some new external environment.

For example, the sensation of swimming every night can be intoxicating, or meeting a new group of wonderful fellow beings where, by being true to myself, they accept and see me as I am, no more masks. I have been reflecting on my intimate relationships, on the moment I go from 'I am' to 'we are one with no boundaries.'

Seduced and mesmerized by the attention and the sensations in my body, this time, however, I have paused, it has been at least 33 months since I have been paying attention to my boundaries, where I have seen a tremendous evolution in how I state my needs for individual space without incurring to violence of any sort.

In the past, I found myself caught in a storm of emotions, resorting to tears, screams, and, at times, even physical expressions that betrayed my lack of boundaries. It felt like I was tearing apart the delicate fabric of relationships abruptly, leaving wounds so deep that they appeared irreparable. In those intense moments, releasing the overwhelming emotions seemed like the only option.

Now, when I hit pause, I engage in reflection and employ the observation technique I've incorporated—mindfully, attentively, and joyfully. Yet, admittedly, there are times when I get carried away, tempted by just one more peek, one more turn, one more time! Gee!

-STOP!, BREATHE, AND CHILL, MONIKA, before there's no longer 'me,' and I become an entangled entity!

I have to say that I AM my own best friend…

The grace of riding the emotional web

Both Celtic and Native American traditions draw intriguing connections between the left side and profound aspects of our being. In Celtic cosmology, the left side is intricately tied to the realm of fairies, revered as guardians of wisdom. Simultaneously, Native American wisdom associates the left ear with our inner self and emotional well-being.

Within the framework of human design, particularly in Gate 22 where my personality Chiron resides, a fascinating exploration of emotional states unfolds. This gate signals a state of mind or mood, wielding the power to oscillate between sociability and introspection.

It interprets what one wants to hear in alignment with one's current emotional state, extending this inclination to music choices—whether humorous, romantic, or intense, offering a direct glimpse into one's prevailing mood.

It proves beneficial to pause and reflect before drawing emotional clarity, allowing the assimilation of information across different emotional states—riding both the ascension and descent of the emotional wave.

Its emotional depth not only empowers others but urges them to live authentically.