Episode Details

How do you find any peace at Christmas when everybody expects you to be upbeat?

There is the noise, the money, the debates round the table, and underneath all of it the fear of losing people. You cannot control the dinner, the presents or your relatives. It is like getting in the sea and expecting the sea to move around you. What changed things for me was sitting back and saying, go on then, let me have it. Then I did not have to do anything with what turned up, my thoughts included. Lower the expectation and there is suddenly room for other people in it.

One thing to try: Listen more and talk less for one gathering. When somebody finishes, wait before you fill the gap.

In this episode

• (1:17) How do you do joy on demand
• (3:59) Too busy, too loud, and the fear of losing people
• (6:16) The pressure to deliver the perfect day
• (9:00) Getting in the sea and expecting it to move for you
• (10:20) My mum's food, and she is still here
• (11:39) The moment I sat back and said, let me have it
• (15:05) What the Zen teachers do that nobody else does
• (19:07) Listen more, talk less, come back to the breath

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Thank you for listening.

Steven

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