Deal with Disappointment
The first reason George and you and I find it hard to be happy through the holidays is disappointment. Maybe your homeschool year hasn’t been going the way you hoped. The kids don’t love their classes or curriculum. You’re already behind schedule. A learning challenge has been indentified. Maybe your finances are stretched even tighter than you thought. You’ve been ill. Or maybe you’ve experienced a loss. A loved one won’t be joining you for the holidays. A relationship has ended. Or you or your spouse lost a job. George experienced many disappointments like these. He lost his father, a chance to go to college, and the income he hoped for.
Thinking about disappointments is depressing, so we may try to avoid thinking about them. Yet they intrude upon our happiness anyway.
That leads me to the first step we can take to be happy through the holidays: Deal with the disappointment. Instead of eating or doom scrolling over it, acknowledge it. You’re disappointed. You hoped and prayed that things would be different, better. But they’re not.
The quickest way out of disappointment depression is through, not around. Sit by yourself with no noise and no distractions. Allow yourself to think about the disappointment and feel the feelings. If you cry, you cry. If you get mad, you get mad. Give yourself as much time as you need to think and pray about it. Journaling works too. Write out everything you’re thinking and feeling, without worrying about anyone else seeing it. When you’re done writing, you can delete it, destroy it, or password protect it.
When you’ve had the time to process it privately, you can then deal with the disappointment by talking to someone you trust who isn’t a part of the disappointment. You don’t want to worry about hurting someone’s feelings as you share your own emotions, unless you’re trying to resolve a conflict. Sometimes you’ll want to make it clear to the listener that you’re not asking them to fix the disappointment for you, just to listen. Talking it out can make a huge difference in your happiness.
Invest in People
The second cause of unhappiness at the holidays is people. People are hard. They disappoint us. We’ve already covered that. People also annoy us. Maybe we expect the bad behavior, so it’s not as disappointing as it is frustrating. We may struggle to know what to say or do when they’re around. Maybe we feel bad about something we’ve said or done in the past, so we have a serving of guilt to go along with our frustration. George had a challenging relationship with Mr. Potter, who was a constant thorn in his side. He also had to deal with selfish bank patrons and an irresponsible uncle.
While we sometimes avoid thinking about disappointments, we will often ruminate about people problems. We replay the negative things people said and did in the past over and over. We fantasize about what we should have said or done in response. And then we worry about what awful things people will do in the future. George Bailey’s ruminations led him to complete despair.
What should we do instead of ruminating about people? Invest in them. The first time I bought a stock, I followed it closely and my mood was up and down with its price. I tried to time the market and cash out at just the right time. If you know anything about stocks, you know that behavior is laug