Episode Details

Two of the BIG questions we hear a LOT from recovering porn/sex addicts is:  "How do I get her to trust me again?" and "How do I trust her?" In this episode Mark and Steve get raw and practical about the answers to these critical questions—

How do I regain her trust?

• The basis for your spouse trusting you again involves YOU developing consistency in several areas of recovery—not just sobriety. 
• There is NO way to MAKE her trust you, so QUIT pressuring her! "Neediness" will NEVER develop trust!
• Your wife needs you to be a SUPPORT in her healing—learn how. 
• Be accountable for YOUR role in her PAIN. 

How do I trust her?

• Validating your own pain and shame is a CRUCIAL first step. 
• You have to LET GO of the "shoulds" about how and when to trust. 
• Let go of any lingering responsibility for her recovery, trauma responses, future choices, etc. 
• In some respects, the LESS you need the relationship, the MORE you will be able to trust it. 
• Work on your own healing—knowing YOU will be OK regardless of what she decides, will allow YOU to show up in the relationship again. 
• Trust is a CHOICE. At the end of the day, only YOU can make that decision.  

Find out more about Steve Moore at:  Ascension Counseling

Learn more about Mark Kastleman at:  Reclaim Counseling Services

Wondering if your marriage can survive porn and sex addiction? This article will give you some hope—https://www.reclaimcounselingservices.com/can-marriage-survive-porn

How can you "heal" your marriage relationship?—https://www.reclaimcounselingservices.com/how-to-mend-your-marriage

Want to learn more about HOW to break free from porn?—https://www.reclaimcounselingservices.com/overcome-porn-sex-addiction