Episode Details

ABOUT THE EPISODE:

Everyone knows the experience of internal dialogue and conflict about who we are and how we will respond to the world around us. It can feel as if there are parts of us at war with each other. For kids using substances, these parts can become extremely polarized – for instance, part of them wants nothing more than to use, and another genuinely desires self-control. 

My guest today says that while their inner parts are engaged in this debate about use, it's hard for them to see the underlying cause of the substance use or addictive behavior, whether that be loneliness, anxiety, or shame.  

Cece Sykes saw her first client almost 45 years ago, and since then has been doing incredible work with young people suffering from addiction and trauma. Cece is one of the first practitioners of Internal Family Systems (IFS), a framework for understanding the roles each of these parts are playing, discovering what role they play in our coping, and gaining a deeper understanding of our kids' needs and motivations.

Interestingly, understanding IFS can change our relationship with ourselves as well. We all have these parts, and the self-examination that this framework provides can help us move beyond the unhealthy dynamics that often develop between parents and kids using substances. In this episode, Cece explains how that works, and how we can help our kids recoginze all the parts of them, without shame, and with more self-compassion.

EPISODE RESOURCES:

• Cece Skyes, LCSW website
• IFS Therapy for Addictions
• “We All Have Parts,” by Colleen West
• “No Bad Parts,” by Dr. Richard Schwartz

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