Episode Details

"It is hard to change that feeling flawed piece...it's so seeped into your bones." Julie Bjelland, LMFT

“Trauma results in this belief that we are different, that we’re not enough…”Aimie Apigian, MD

“We often see that the pain cycle is ultimately cross wired with some type of underlying core belief such as “I’m not okay, I’m not good enough…" Cathleen King, DPT

“Your own self doubt can cause the disconnection, especially when your inner voice says things like “I’m afraid I will fail,” “people won’t like me,” or “I can’t do this.” Mihaela Ivan Holtz, Psy.D., LMFT

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A belief that we are different

“Trauma results in this belief that we are different, that we’re not enough, that there’s something about us that pushes people away or that we’re too much for other people."

Trauma healing specialist Aimie Apigian, MD continues: “And so if they were to truly know us – all parts of us – then they would leave us, then they would kick us out, then they would reject us, abandon us.

"And those feelings of being abandoned and being different are so painful that our system responds in a self-protective way…”

Resources by Aimie Apigian, MD, MS, MPH. include:

▶️ TheFoundational Journey: 21 Day Journey + Intro to All Parts of Me, for addressing stored trauma in the body.

▶️ The Essential Sequence - How to Release Stored Trauma - free guide

▶️ Thumbnail image for this video ("Alone in a crowd") is from Attachment Pain: A Roadmap for Healing - free guidebook.

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Feeling flawed and the power of self-compassion and self-acceptance.

Julie Bjelland, LMFT, a psychotherapist and author specializing in high sensitivity and neurodiverse people, comments in an episode of her podcast:

"It is hard to change that feeling flawed piece...it's so seeped into your bones because it's your inner child. It's stuff that you learned with a child's brain."

From the original Show Notes: "In this conversation, Julie Bjelland and Willow McIntosh "emphasize the impact of feeling flawed and the power of self-compassion and self-acceptance."

⏩ See video: Feeling flawed as a neurodivergent child or adult - What can change that?

⏩ Hear Creative Mind Audio podcast version.

In an issue of her newsletter, she lists some notions ‘we constantly tell ourselves things such as:

I'll be worthy when I lose 20 pounds.

I'll be worthy if I get/stay sober.

I'll be worthy if everyone thinks I'm a good parent.

I'll be worthy if I can hold my marriage together.

I'll be worthy when I make more money.

I'll be worthy when my parents finally approve.

She lists suggestions of "What we should be saying to ourselves. Pick some of these and try repeating them daily to yourselves:

I love and accept myself as I am.

I know my sensitivity is needed in the world.

I allow myself to honor my needs in a loving way and rest when I need it.

I give myself the care and downtime I need to help stay at my highest level of wellness.

I practice daily self-compassion, knowing it is a part of helping me thrive."

She adds that one of her resources to "deepen your journey of self-love and acceptance" is her Blooming Brilliantl