Episode Details

Private Coaching

Now I wouldn't say that I would sometimes call myself Peter Pamela Perfectionism Rose, but sometimes I've called myself Peter Pamela Perfectionism Rose.

The biggest thing about perfectionism that I want to talk about today is that perfectionism leads to procrastination, leads to paralysis.

The other thing that I think is so important about the lesson of perfectionism is to make your ears grow bigger, cunning, baffling, and powerful.

I look at all the ways, in fact even this too, recording today's podcast, I was looking for the right time to do it.

But do you know what the right time to do it was? Right now. Right now was the right time to do it.

See, my wanting to, and this is just me but maybe you can relate, my waiting to just feel like it is perfectionism in a very cunning, baffling, and powerful way, trying to get me to not do what I most need to do to move my career forward, which is because for the past, I think over two years now, I have put out a podcast every week, even when my house flooded, even when my house flooded and that If you can start to override that perfectionism and let it go for just a moment so that you do that action now, bingo, we got some serious success about to happen.

Now, I'm also going to lean into the fabulous Melody Beattie.

The Language of Letting Go

She talks about how perfectionism is an individual process that necessitates making mistakes. So recovering from perfectionism necessitates making mistakes, struggling through problems and facing tough issues.

And it's especially when I have to do things I most don't want to do that my perfectionism kicks up.

Again, waiting for the right time, waiting till I feel like it, waiting until somebody else tells me I should do it.

Again, cunning, baffling, and powerful, how I get in there, how perfectionism gets in there or my perfectionism gets in there to prevent me from doing the things that I most need to do in order to achieve what I most want to do.

"Expecting ourselves to be perfect slows down the process to our getting to the level of success that we want to get to in whatever area of our life. It puts us in a guilty or anxious state. Expecting others to be perfect is equally destructive. It makes others feel ashamed and may interfere with their growth. Keep the focus on yourself."

It was one of the craziest things I've learned in core work. Is that once I finally got the focus on me and off of everybody else, I was like, how the heck did I even have time to focus on other people and try and control them and try and manipulate them?

How did I even have the time?

I'm so damn busy with me. I'm a freaking full time job. That's when the good stuff begins, when you start to really focus on you, that's when the good stuff starts.

"People are human and vulnerable. We can accept and cherish that idea. Expecting others to be perfect puts us in a codependent state of moral superiority."

And sometimes I find I do that with myself. I put myself in "Peter, you're just gonna have to do it better than everybody else."

What the fuck is that? Oh,