Episode Details

8 Tips to Not Get Ripped Off as an Actor and the Three Pillars to a Successful Acting Career

Let's start talking about those buttons being pushed, right?

And I want to talk especially about how to help yourself.

There's a little phrase that I love. It's one of my absolute favorites, which is "if you're hysterical, it's historical."

I find that when my buttons get pushed, if I'm upset about whatever it is for longer than five minutes, it's not about that thing.

It's about something from my past.

The other really helpful thing to note about buttons, because it's generally family members who push your buttons, is that your family knows how to push your buttons because, hello, they installed them.

Your family knows how to push your buttons because they installed them.

So I want To help you so that when you have that moment, when your buttons get pushed, you can start to practice this particular formula.

Now I need to also say this, when my buttons get pushed, I find it's better that I go by this saying, which is "when in doubt, leave it out."

out. I also find it's best for me to remove myself from the situation so I can do that very valuable thing, which is stop and take a step back.

But I want to describe the full process of what happens when our buttons get pushed.

Something will be said to us and we will immediately react.

Now this is important because remember our reactions are fine, but it's our second reaction that we really need to be paying attention to.

There's this phrase, and I love this because I think this is so true, "we are not responsible for our first thought, but we are responsible for our second."

So again, if you can split your paper into two sides, make two columns.

On the left column, I want you to write, Something happens. Then, right underneath that, I want you to write, React.

And then, underneath that, a couple lines down, I want you to say to yourself, "I am not responsible for my first thought, but I am responsible for my second."

Therefore, we have the second column.

That second column is that something happens.

Now, that could be your mother saying to you, "Oh, you're going to wear that?"

Or, "Oh, you're growing a mustache now."

It's that, okay?

Could be your father, too, or your brother, or your sister, or a friend, or an acquaintance, or an agent, or a casting director.

So again, on this second side of the piece of paper, the same thing, something happens. And guess what?

You are going to react.

Especially in the beginning.

You may not be totally reprogrammed yet, but after that reaction happens, you want to tell yourself this, "stop."

And sometimes I literally say to myself, "stop it right now. Stop. Just for goodness sake, stop."

And then I literally say to myself, "take a step back," and sometimes, while that person might be continuing to put their opinion of me on me, I literally will take a step back.

Literally, a physical step back.

And I always use this example, and if you've listened to this podcast a lot, you've heard me say this, is if you put your hand on your face, and you literally attach that hand onto your face, that's how it feels when somebody comes at you and they push that button right in your gut. It's like your hand is glued to your face.

But this is the truth. No, it's not. And you can't remove their finger from your button.

And that, again, requires you to take a step back.

So if you keep your hand where it is, but you move your body back, that's what I'm talking about. Because now you can look at your hand.

See, when it's right up against your face, while they have your finger in your button, as it were, you can't se