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Her Lack of Desire is Driving me Crazy!
This episode is an excerpt from one of the Roundtable group coaching sessions we ran last year and covers one of the most common questions we get asked and one of the biggest sources of frustration for men in their marriage or long term relationship.
Why doesn't she initiate intimacy?
Why do I have to do everything to make this a relationship rather than just a platonic friendship?
How can she be happy without an intimate connection?
What can I do to change this?
Our first response is always to look into how you THINK about your current situation.
Most of the time you're so focused on what she says or what you think she's thinking that you have no idea what's really happening. You fluctuate from one extreme behaviour to another seeing if you can get some physical affection from her.
You'll do anything and everything to get her attention.
You cook and clean and buy her presents
You try to get a hug or a kiss from her multiple times a day
You make sexual comments as an attempt to flirt
You ask for sex or intimacy indirectly such as by offering to give her a massage
You get frustrated and upset when she rejects you or doesn't respond to your efforts
It's not that she doesn't notice, she notices everything you're doing and she feels your actions...but not in a good way. To her you're communicating with a loud speaker, and it TURNS HER OFF.
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Published on 5 years ago