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20 - The #1 Communication Skill We Need
Description
A piece of advice my grandma gave to me before my wedding is what inspired this episode. I asked her, What do you think the key is to a long-lasting marriage? And she said, Well, I think that it’s sometimes you need to not say what you’re thinking. This got me thinking about how much focus we place on speaking well, on communicating our own thoughts in speech and in writing, and on being heard. But just how much do we invest into learning how to listen well? I think listening is a key foundation in building relationships and business, and it’s what I talk about today.
There are many ways we undermine what other people are communicating to us without even meaning to. Some of the ways in which we fail at listening are obvious. Interrupting is one of those obvious rude behaviors. So is talking too much, monopolizing the conversation. We understand those aren’t ideal behaviors yet we still struggle with them. And what about the less obvious ways in which we aren’t listening? Rushing people, hurrying to give advice, overtaking their story with our own.
How can we truly enter into a conversation in which we speak and listen in equal measure? How do we become good listeners? Are there ways to train ourselves out of the bad habits we have that damage our listening skills? There are ways. I’m guilty of all of these things myself but I have found ways to teach myself to listen. Little things I picture or questions I ask that open people up for me to listen to. That’s what I share with you today because listening is just as important in communication as speaking. Are you ready to work on it together?
Key Moments
04:46 Interrupting and speaking too much
07:44 Rushing someone else’s story
13:02 Jumping into somebody else’s story with our own
- What is a conversation pizza and how can it help?
- How do we redirect a conversation we’ve hijacked back to the original speaker?
- What is the objective of a conversation?
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Resources mentioned in this episode:
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Contact Kari Lotzien | Be the Anchor:
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Transcript:
Kari Lotzien: [00:00:01] Welcome to Be the Anchor the podcast. I'm your host, business and leadership coach Kari Lotzien. When the seas of life get stormy, and they always will, it is not up to us to captain anyone else's ship or to try to calm the waters of the ocean. It's up to us to set our own destination for what we really want, and to learn how to navigate those waves of life together while finding that place of security and stability with others. I call this being an anchor. If you are a dreamer, a visionary, an entrepreneur, whether you have an idea, big or small, that you think might just make the world a little bit better, kinder, gentler place, you are in the right spot my friend. We are going to talk about everything from big ideas to mindset and strategy, and sometimes just how to get through the day. I don't want you to miss an episode, so be sure to follow and subscribe to the podcast so that we can stay connected and keep doing this journey of life together. Thanks so much!
Kari Lotzien: [00:01:12] Hello my friends, I'm so glad you're here. Today I am sharing an episode with you that was inspired by my grandma. She is going to be 99 years old this year and was married for over 60 years. She is a long standing decades of volunteering and