Episode Details

When you're divorcing someone who fights dirty, every instinct says dig in and go to war. In this episode, veteran divorce attorney Raiford Palmer, author of *I Just Want This Done*, explains why that instinct can quietly cost you your money, your years, and your peace.

He starts with the "Loser's Fallacy": the trap breadwinners fall into when they feel like they're handing everything away, when in fact those assets and that time were always shared. He and Lisa get practical about the cost-benefit analysis of going to trial (legal bills, emotional toll, opportunity cost), the danger of a narcissistic ex who treats court as a weapon, the early window when settlement is most possible, and why the court is the wrong tool for the most painful parts of divorce.

This is strategic education, not legal advice for your specific situation.

✅ WHAT YOU'LL LEARN
✅ The "Loser's Fallacy" that traps primary breadwinners in divorce
✅ Why the assets and time you're "fighting for" are already shared
✅ How to run an honest cost-benefit analysis before going to trial
✅ The hidden costs beyond legal fees: time, emotion, and opportunity
✅ Why a narcissistic ex uses the court system as a weapon
✅ The early window when settlement is most possible
✅ Why the court is the wrong tool for the most painful parts of divorce
✅ Resources for lower-conflict communication (Bill Eddy's BIFF and Splitting)

⏱️ TIMESTAMPS (+1:00 for the bumper)
0:00 Intro
1:00 The "Loser's Fallacy" in divorce
10:05 A cost-benefit analysis of going to trial
21:42 Settlements, and dealing with difficult people
27:53 What the court can (and can't) do

CTA (spoken): Divorcing someone who fights dirty? Book a free discovery call at beentheregotout.com.
Books: Been There Got Out — https://www.amazon.com/Been-There-Got-Relationships-Circumstances/dp/194627495X/ · When Your Ex Turns the Kids Against You — https://www.amazon.com/Been-There-Got-Out-Against/dp/1967674183
Tags: divorcing a narcissist, cost of divorce, divorce trial, settlement, loser's fallacy, raiford palmer, dividing assets, high conflict divorce, divorce strategy