Episode Details

Kids rarely walk up and say "the fighting is hurting me." They show it in quieter ways, and if you know your child, you can catch it early. In this episode, New York family lawyer Dennis Vetrano joins Lisa to explain how much of a high-conflict divorce lands on the children, and what to do about it.

They start with a powerful tool: know your child's baseline, so the shifts stand out. Dennis is practical about the rest, bring in counselors, teachers, and coaches, document changes rather than diagnose them, and understand the court's limits when one parent bad-mouths the other. He explains why chasing every minor violation can backfire into a custody battle, and how to keep your communication calm and factual, because every message might one day be read in court. Above all, keep the child's well-being, not winning, at the center.

This is strategic education, not legal advice for your specific situation.

✅ WHAT YOU'LL LEARN
✅ Why knowing your child's baseline is your best early-warning system
✅ The behavior changes that signal a child is struggling
✅ Why you should document changes, not diagnose them
✅ How counselors, teachers, and coaches help you see the full picture
✅ The limits of the court when one parent bad-mouths the other
✅ Why chasing every minor violation can trigger a custody battle
✅ How to keep communication calm, factual, and court-ready
✅ How to keep the child's well-being at the center of every decision

⏱️ TIMESTAMPS (+1:00 for the bumper)
0:00 Intro
1:00 How unhappy households land on kids
5:48 The behavior changes to watch for
18:28 Bad-mouthing, alienation, and the court's limits
31:34 Navigating difficult co-parenting dynamics
39:53 Co-parenting with a toxic ex

CTA (spoken): Worried how the conflict is affecting your kids? Book a free discovery call at beentheregotout.com.
Books: When Your Ex Turns the Kids Against You — https://www.amazon.com/Been-There-Got-Out-Against/dp/1967674183 · Been There Got Out — https://www.amazon.com/Been-There-Got-Relationships-Circumstances/dp/194627495X/
Tags: protecting children during divorce, high conflict divorce, co-parenting, documenting for court, child behavior, parental alienation, dennis vetrano, custody, family law