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Hello everyone, Erik here, and I’m just kind of in the middle of something. It is related to the radio show and I have a little time on my own this weekend and just kind of reflecting on my message that I put on Twitter and Facebook about this hiatus that I’m on.

I thought that you, my listeners, deserved an explanation and I’m a terrible, terrible writer and usually, in these cases, people will write a note. And I’ve done that in the past. It’s just that I’m not a very good writer and it takes way too long and I can usually say the things that I’m thinking faster into a microphone, of course, then I can typing on a keyboard. And I’ve been thinking about this for quite some time and that is whether I say something or do something. And there have been tweets from followers and Facebook messages and emails and they’re wondering you know how I’m doing and things of that sort and it’s easy for me to just say I’m fine but I’m not.

I have first world problems and that’s basically what this is and it feels so silly for me to do this and kind of complain about things and whine about things when really I have pretty good. I’m living in a four-bedroom house. I mean, it’s not mine, I rented but still, it’s a really nice home. I live in a great neighborhood. I got two pretty good kids. Got a great wife and you know I am still working on doing the things that I want to do. Not as much as I thought I would.

Now looking back over the past year coming up to the one year anniversary of me getting laid off from a job that I loved and I mean really loved and was ripped away from colleagues… who I never called colleagues… ripped away from a great bunch of people who I loved to go to work for and that sort of stuff really haunts me to this day. And the reason that it continues to pop up in my head is that I never did find another full-time job and that was because a month after I was laid off I started working for this fantastic guy out in Elora – about a half hour from where I live – and he’s not in a position to hire me full time but he’s trying to throw as much work at me as possible. My hope is that eventually, that will lead to either regular hours that I’m working throughout the week or that he eventually hires me on as a full-time member of his team. I don’t know if either or are going to happen but I kinda hope that it does. So, work has always been on my mind and it’s always something that I think about every day and the fact that there is a point where work dries up for him then I’m not going to be able to pay my bills and do things of that sort and then that directly affects me, my mood, my brain, the way I react to things and it really doesn’t take much for me to slip into a depression where I pretty much just want to give up.

How does this all reflect back on the show and Cinematic Sound and me doing this today? Well, when I get to that point I then feel like if I’m doing a radio program, and I’m not sure how many of you know the process or what goes through to make this show that I do, that I love and am proud of. You know it takes hours. Many hours! There’s a lot of writing. There’s a lot of research. Many people have said that I have an encyclopedic knowledge of film music and film scores and movies, well, I really don’t. I’ve seen a lot of movies but I haven’t seen A LOT of movies. I listened to a lot of scores but there was a lot that I have that I’ve missed. I have six thousand scores and a good chunk of that number I haven’t listened to. I mean am still discovering music to this day even though I’ve been doing this show for almost 22 years.

Anyway going back to the amount of work that has put into this program that I do. I don’t make any money off of it and I don’t think I was ever expecting that I would make money doing this show. It would be great if a radio station picked me up. I’m not saying that I’m not going to work toward something like that – alt