Layering your Sober Tools.....with Belle

Episode 181

Belle got sober back in 2012 and was one of the first people in the Sober Space, one of the first to share her own story and to try and help others to make a change…

In this episode:-

Belle was not interested in alcohol as a teenager, she’d actually noticed what it did to people and didn’t like what she saw
As she got into her twenties she started to drink the odd beer
Interestingly she would never buy a six pack – somehow she knew it was a better idea to buy a single beer at a time
Way before she had developed any level of dependence she recognized that alcohol “spoke to her” as she put it…
A decade later her consumption stepped up until she was drinking four or five times a week, three or four drinks at a time
As she hit 30 she was finding it harder to moderate
She started taking AF beers to social events and alternating between her alcoholic and non alcoholic drinks
A decade later she decided that she needed to take a break from alcohol to prove that she wasn’t an alcoholic
In her late 30’s Belle got married and felt she had a “partner in crime” as she put it
Drinking wine with dinner at home and ordering a bottle when they were out didn’t seem at all excessive
They would order wine by the case and it felt very “grown up” and sophisticated
Belle’s husband drank the same amounts that she did but in fact he didn’t think about alcohol in the same way that she did
This realization actually didn’t surface until she quit when she realized that he could take it or leave it – he was a “normie” as she puts it
Belle was used to taking a few days off the booze now and then when her workload got heavy or she had to get up early but when she decided to quit for a month she only got to 7 days
That was when it hit her that she might have a problem
Her second attempt at taking a month off alcohol also failed so she decided she had to approach this differently
A friend of hers sent her an anonymous blog from someone who was trying to quit
Belle loved the idea of blogging… and getting responses from people who were on the same path
She created a blog on wordpress and posted her first entry
She got an encouraging response the next day and found it “surprisingly helpful”
People were giving her advice and confirming that yes those first couple of weeks were hard and suddenly she realized she wasn’t alone
There was actually a roadmap to this sobriety journey!
Back in 2012 there were no real alternatives to AA or rehab
She had never felt “bad enough” for those options so imagined she would just have to struggle along as a grey area drinker
Her blog was such a revelation that she wasn’t alone in this and that there were other people out there who she could connect with
She blogged for a year and then started to offer online support via daily emails
I asked Belle for her personal benefits of sobriety and she listed sleep, being able to count on herself and feeling proud of herself – for making such a big change with a ripple effect.
Her anxiety and irritability reduced and overall she was surprised at the positive impact this change had made to her life
She remains unconcerned about questions about her alcohol free lifestyle as she feels that people are actually not that interested
If asked she just says “I’m not drinking these days as it was affecting my sleep” and finds that nobody ever takes it further…
In 2016 she wrote a book called Tired of Thinking about Drinking which was the name of her blog
If you’re familiar with Belle’s work then you will know all about Wolfie – that was the name she gave the voice in her head urging her to drink
I loved Belle’s analogy about the toddler in the supermarket yelling for a donut…. If you give him a d

Published on 2 years, 3 months ago

Podcast Episode Details

Layering your Sober Tools.....with Belle