Episode Details

Depression often begins with voices—sometimes internal, sometimes from those around us—that tell us we’re not good enough. For Janine, those voices started in childhood, intensified through family and religious pressures, and nearly took her life.

In this first part of her two-episode story, Janine reflects on her earliest experiences of depression, the verbal abuse that shaped her self-image, and how faith, music, and self-talk became her tools for survival.

She shares how she learned to challenge toxic voices—both internal and external—and replace them with affirmations of worth, gratitude, and hope.

Janine’s story reminds us that recovery is possible, but it takes years of persistence, faith, and learning to find what is truly real and good.

Link to Jeannine's website: https://www.jeanninerivers.com/

Primary Topics Covered:

• Janine’s earliest experiences with depression as a child
• The impact of religious restrictions and verbal abuse on her self-worth
• How toxic voices (internal and external) shaped her struggles
• The power of music and creativity in surviving depression
• Learning to reprogram harmful self-talk with affirmations
• Why faith, meditation, and gratitude helped her reclaim strength
• The long process of healing and silencing depression’s lies
• Why recovery takes time and is built through small daily choices
• Hope as the foundation of survival and long-term growth

Timestamps:

00:11 Introduction and context for Suicide Prevention Awareness Month
 01:10 Introducing Janine’s story and the importance of hearing her now, before Part Two
 02:43 Janine on finding the courage to share her story openly
 03:53 Early experiences of depression at age 10
 05:12 Childhood dreams and love of music
 05:38 Family’s conversion to Jehovah’s Witnesses and its impact
 06:48 Elders’ rejection of her singing gift and resulting pain
 07:28 Experiences of verbal abuse and its long-term effects
 08:27 Tools for quieting toxic voices: prayer, meditation, self-talk
 09:38 Replacing negative voices with affirmations of strength
 10:47 Accomplishments Janine reminds herself of to build confidence
 11:20 The healing power of music and the song “Summertime”
 13:52 Reflection on the long process of recovery and growth
 15:01 Reminders: you are valuable and worthy of a life worth living
 16:11 Closing thoughts and preview of Part Two (suicide attempt and recovery)

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