Sobriety is the Ultimate Life Hack! with Kirsty from Soberbuzz

Episode 180

My guest today is Kirsty Mulcahy from Soberbuzz Scotland

Her work is focussed on supporting people to go alcohol free – she also coaches people who are sober and are asking themselves what comes next…

In this episode:-

Kirsty started drinking at the age of 14
The first night she drank she ended up in hospital having her stomach pumped
That one weekend changed the trajectory of Kirsty's schooling
Previously she’s loved school and was doing well but after the stomach pumping incident she hung out with the people she’d been drinking with – she needed to “fit in”
We agreed that even when we get older we still have the need to fit in and one of the fears of quitting is around out identity – who will we be if we don’t drink!
Who will my people be?
We agreed that we are both blessed to be working in the recovery community where we have found our people and get purpose from helping people to change their lives
Kirsty left school early and went to leave abroad at the age of 17
She drank heavily and took recreational drugs until she was 21
Returning to the UK she had the intention of returning to live overseas but she fell in love and had a child
At the age of 27 she separated from her partner and became a single mom
That’s when she realized that she had a problem with alcohol…although she didn’t stop until she was 41
14 years of knowing but not changing..
14 years of thinking this isn’t right but feeling trapped because she had no idea HOW to make a change
I so identify with this and in fact the average time that someone takes from the realization that they have a problem and doing something about it is 11 years
So if you are in that place of knowing that you have a problem but feeling trapped please reach out today… there is help available, go to tribesober.com and hit join our tribe!
Apart from not knowing how to quit drinking Kirsty's whole identify was wrapped up in being the party girl
There was also a dark side to the partying which was when she drank alone
When Kirstys mom died suddenly she was 33 and her drinking became heavier
She had no sober people in her life, no role models showing her that an alcohol free life was possible
She had been to an AA meeting in her 20’s but was unable to relate to the people she found there
Apart from the shock of losing her mom Kirsty had to cope with a lot of extra responsibility and she no longer had childcare for when she went to work
She had no coping mechanisms so turned to alcohol
Kirsty tried putting various rules in place around her drinking but ended up breaking them
She had lots of “rock bottoms” but found herself moving the goalposts
For example she thought that if she ever woke up in a strangers house the morning after she would quit
But she did…and she didn’t quit
One of the things that prevented her from getting help was the shame… she just didn’t want to tell anyone how bad it had got
Another factor that kept her trapped was the thought that people would realise that she had a problem if we stopped
When we give up smoking we get congratulated but when we give up drinking we just get lots of awkward questions!
Like many of us Kirsty was high functioning and managed to hold down a job and maintain her parenting role..
She also poured huge energy into keeping everybody happy so that no-one questioned what was going on in her life
Without her mom to look out for her Kirsty felt very alone… there was nobody close to her to see just how bad her drinking had got…nobody to advise her
Her final rock bottom came in December 2017 when she woke up surrounded by empty bottles and drug paraphernalia…
She got

Published on 2 years, 3 months ago

Podcast Episode Details

Sobriety is the Ultimate Life Hack! with Kirsty from Soberbuzz